


The salamander is the most important part

by thelonesometraintoillinois



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humanstuck, M/M, Nonbinary Rose, Swearing, Trans Dave, Transphobia, Violence in Later Chapters, nonbinary john, trans Jade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-20 13:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4788725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonesometraintoillinois/pseuds/thelonesometraintoillinois
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave had trouble making friends until he met Rose, Jade, and John at a trans group. Now, Rose wants to introduce the three to their school friends, and Dave gets drawn into the rocky world of Terezi Pyrope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I've ever written so bear with me

Dave Strider, dropped off at the front door of the college building by his english teacher, readjusted his sunglasses and peered through the large windows on either side of each door. People of all ages were milling around inside, wearing pride shirts and buttons, but most of them looked older than him. He ignored the persistent stab of anxiety, and pushed open a door. 

As soon as he stepped inside, he was greeted by an older woman, who handed him a name tag and marker, and directed him towards a room down the hall. Its door was propped open, and there was a kind of crappy homemade sign that said, “Welcome, Trans Friends!” It looked like whoever made it spent about two minutes working on it. Whatever, it’s the thought that counts. He casually glanced down at his chest, making sure for the tenth time that morning that he looked as flat as possible, and, somewhat satisfied, entered the room. 

It was warm inside, but he wasn’t quite comfortable enough to remove his jacket yet, so he kept it on as he sat down, and filled out the name tag. “Dave, He/Him.” There were a few other people seated around the circle of chairs, but he pretended to be busy texting someone to avoid conversation. Like he had anyone to text. His brother maybe, but he never responded, and Dave got the feeling he didn’t want any more contact than necessary. He fiddled with the buttons, typing and deleting numbers, trying not to seem too fidgety, wishing he hadn’t come so early. 

His brother didn’t want to take him, so he had casually mentioned it to his teacher, who was going past the college anyway, and she insisted on giving him a ride. She didn’t much appreciate Dave’s writing, or his obscure sense of humor, but she didn’t dislike him, and she felt this was an important thing for him. She would pick him up this afternoon. Unfortunately, she had to leave a little earlier than Dave had planned, and there was still half an hour before the conference started. 

Half an hour of a miserably fast-paced heartbeat, a nervous bouncing of his leg, and a feeling that he’d rather be anywhere else. This, of course, wasn’t at all true. Dave had been waiting for this for weeks, daydreaming about finding people he could actually relate to, however embarrassing that was to admit. Now that he was here, it was too late to back out, and he refused to let mild anxiety get in the way of the possibility of finally making actual friends. 

As the clock on the wall ticked seconds and minutes away, Dave rolled and unrolled the backing to his name tag, pulled his phone out, tapped out random numbers, put it back in his pocket, and repeated the process, and shakily pushed blonde hair out of his eyes. People trickled in, but Dave couldn’t bring himself to look up at anyone, however much he wanted to. He pulled at his jacket sleeve, and glared at his red sneakers. 

Finally, finally, the seats were almost full, the minute hand had almost reached the 12, and two people with more official looking name tags, the plastic kind with information printed on, took their places in the front of the room, each holding a marker and standing on either side of a huge pad of paper supported by an easel. They introduced themselves, talked a little about the conference, handed out stacks of programs, and wrote down some ground rules -   
Respect pronouns  
No alcohol or drugs  
No offensive language  
\- and so on. Dave only sort of paid attention, knowing he probably wouldn’t break any of the rules, and already having read about the conference online about a million times over. 

He was more focused on half successful attempts at looking at people out of the corner of his eyes, without them noticing. There was one instance of awkward eye contact, and a subsequent five minutes of a violently racing heart and hopefully not too obvious flushed face, and after that, Dave decided it would be better to keep his eyes on the people talking. 

The introduction took about twenty minutes, and then they were free to wander through the halls, trying to find the right rooms for the separate panels. There was a map in the back of the program, but Dave was hopeless at navigation, and he finally had to suck it up and ask someone with a plastic name tag for directions. They pointed him in the right direction, with a kind smile and pat on the shoulder, and he mumbled thanks as non-aggressively as he could, and wove through colorfully dressed people of all ages, genders, and races. 

When he got to the room with the plaque reading 413, braille underneath and a paper taped above, which said, “Transgender Youth”, he peered inside, heart fluttering and mouth twitching slightly. There were three other kids, about his age, who apparently found their way a lot quicker than he had, and another older person, with another official looking name tag. Taking a deep breath, he joined them.

He walked as quickly as he could over to an empty chair, arms crossed in front of his chest, holding the program in place. He could feel their eyes on him, but he kept his own on the carpeting under his feet, hoping they couldn’t tell how scared he felt, hoping his attempt to hide behind squares of dark plastic was working. 

He was still wearing his jacket, and it was getting kind of uncomfortable. With a binder on as well, he was way too warm, and he needed to stretch out. But he could feel curious glances, and didn’t want to draw any more attention, so he kept as still as he could and tried to be content with silently cursing his cramped ribcage and sore spine. 

The chairs in this room were also arranged in a circle, and, even though it was smaller than the first, with only five people, there was a lot of space between individuals. Two kids across the circle from Dave were chattering quietly, with big smiles, and Dave felt a little envious, wishing he could talk to people so easily. 

The other kid was gazing out the window. They had short blonde hair, partly held back by a black headband, and faint purple eyeshadow. Their hands were folded neatly in their lap, and they looked kind of bored. He considered trying to start a conversation, but it was never really an option. He would have no idea what to say. 

Anyway, the leader wanted to get things started. They clapped their hands, introduced themselves, and asked the kids to do the same. Dave sighed internally, trying not to look panicked, and one of the braver kids introduced herself as Jade, she/her pronouns. The one next to her grinned, displaying slight buckteeth, and squeaked out, “I’m John. They/them.” They looked around the room, but Dave looked down before they could make eye contact.

The blonde kid a few seats away introduced themself as Rose, also they/them, and then it was Dave’s turn. He cleared his throat, and, in the deepest voice he could manage without feeling like an idiot, he said, “Dave. He/him.” 

The leader smiled at each of them in turn, and said, “Now that we all know each other, does anyone have anything they want to talk about? I thought there would be more people, but I guess not. Anyone have any games for small groups? This can be pretty laid back.”

John raised their hand slightly and started talking, but Dave couldn’t quite concentrate. He was worried about his voice. John’s voice was high pitched, like Dave’s, and they didn’t seem to mind. Dave didn’t understand how; he was focused on it almost completely whenever he spoke. It gave him a bad feeling in his chest, and he dug his fingernails into his palms. He used to love singing, and would spend hours singing along to CDs his brother let him have. He almost wanted to try rapping, but by the time he was old enough to be interested in that, he had started hating his voice. 

He tried to be content with just making music instead, but he missed being comfortable singing at the top of his lungs. He tried to talk to his brother about it, but he was pretty much ignored. Too cool to put up with his “little sister’s shit”. That was the last time he asked for advice about that kind of thing. 

John was still talking animatedly, Jade butting in enthusiastically, and Rose looking vaguely amused at the pair. Dave wasn’t exactly sure what they were talking about, but he figured they wouldn’t notice. Rose said something, a laugh in their voice, and Jade smiled widely at them. She pushed her round glasses up and responded. Dave decided it would probably be a good idea to tune in. 

“Well, I wasn’t around a lot of people growing up. I live with my grandpa, and my dog, on a little island off the coast.”

John’s face lit up. “Oh my God that’s so cool! Don’t you get lonely though? How did you get here?”

“Bec is good company. I have internet friends, too. It’s okay.” Jade pulled a little shyly at a lock of dark brown hair. 

Dave decided he was too tired and strung out for this kind of personal conversation. If he showed interest, they might ask him to join in. He let himself space out again, leaving them to talk about their home lives. He tapped out a beat on his leg and let songs run through his head. It was a mistake to come. He had been stupid to think he would be able to make friends. He couldn’t even say his name without wanting to die. He wasn’t ready for this. 

This thought process was interrupted by Jade calling out his name. “Dave!” He nearly jumped, startled into meeting her eyes. “What’s your life like?”

He glanced at the other two, who had also turned their attention to him. John seemed excited, and Rose seemed just a little curious. It felt a little strange that they actually appeared to care about his answer. 

“Um…” He tried not to stammer, but it didn’t really work. “I live with my older brother.”

“Is that all there is to you?”

“Pretty much.” He didn’t know what else to say, and he could feel himself heating up. He wanted to cover his tomato colored face, or run away, but that would be even worse. 

Rose chimed in, “I find that a little hard to believe.”

He wanted to glare at them, but that was too confrontational. “I, uh, I play computer games.”

All three of them perked up. It was comedic, and he would’ve laughed if he weren’t so nervous. John spoke this time, asking, “What games do you play?”

Dave rattled off a few, and was unwittingly drawn into an animated conversation about computer games that they all played - a conversation that slowly but surely became less stressful. He nearly forgot to be disgusted by his own voice, throwing out opinions and sharing gaming stories. By the end of the conference, he had the Steam usernames of the other three kids, and had given his own. Maybe it hadn’t been a mistake to come. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The four met periodically over the next couple years, hanging out in arcades and going to movies that were, quite frankly, a little awful. John loved them. Rose and Dave love to make fun of them. Jade was just happy to be hanging out with her new friends. 

Dave had been quite anxious the first few times, but just like in their first conversation, he steadily grew more comfortable with the group. Three years after their first meeting, when they were all entering tenth grade, Rose decided to introduce them all to her school friends. She invited everyone to have dinner at a pizza place a few minutes away from Dave’s apartment.


	2. Chapter One

Jade and John had arrived at Dave’s place an hour early, since they were coming from farther away, and Rose promised to be there when they got to the pizza place, as they were carpooling with a few of their friends. Dave showed them some songs he had made, which they both enthused over, as always, and then they watched dumb youtube videos until it was time to head out.

The city streets were loud, as always, humid and full of yelling people and screeching cars. Dave was wearing a jacket he had snuck out of his brother’s closet, and he rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, careful that no one saw the scars on his arms. His friends were walking slightly ahead of him anyway, earnestly discussing the merits of some old movie, and passing strangers most likely wouldn’t care, or even notice, so he felt pretty comfortable. 

He trailed behind his friends, giving slightly apathetic input per their requests, but leaving most of the talking to them. As they neared their destination, Dave felt a pang of nervousness, starting in his chest and trailing into his stomach, where it seemed to roll around. He had finally gotten over his anxiety about his three current friends - how long would it take to feel okay with these new people?

There was no one standing outside when they got there, so John pushed open the door and waved Jade and Dave inside. Dave pulled his sleeves down; Rose tended to be more perceptive than the other two. It was air conditioned in the building - thank God - and pretty quiet. There were a couple tables and booths that were occupied, but it was, for the most part, empty. Rose was in one of the booths, along with a few other people, so Dave headed towards them. Jade bounced ahead, grabbing Rose’s hand and pulling them up, into a hug. 

Rose seemed startled, but softened into the hug quickly, before gently stepping away and introducing everyone. They started with their girlfriend, Kanaya, who smiled up at them and waved, and then continued, “That’s Karkat, Sollux, Terezi, and Aradia. Guys, this is Dave, this is Jade, and this is John. I told you their pronouns earlier, yes?”

Kanaya smiled again, and said, “Yes. It’s so nice to meet you all! This isn’t the whole gang, of course. Some people are coming a little later. I don’t think Vriska’s coming at all tonight.”

Terezi chimed in with a, “Big surprise. Hey, I can’t exactly see any of you, so if you could introduce yourselves, just so I know your voices? That would be great.” She grinned, and Dave realized she must be wearing opaque glasses because she was blind. He stepped a little closer, hoping the voice exercises had worked, and that he didn’t sound too feminine. 

“I’m Dave.”

“You sound like a cool kid. Hand me the red crayon, would you?” Dave looked down to see a basket of crayons on the table. He picked a red one out and handed it to her. She pulled a sketchbook out of her bag, and started making a bunch of lines. “Red’s my favorite color.”

“How do you know?” He hoped that wasn’t rude to ask. It didn’t seem too inappropriate, but you never know. He frowned at himself, trying to calm down. Luckily, Terezi just laughed. 

“Red things always taste the best,” was her only explanation. 

Jade and John introduced themselves, and quickly started up a conversation with Aradia and Sollux, who were holding hands and sharing a milkshake. Sickeningly romantic is what his brother would call it, but Dave thought it was kind of sweet. If you were into that sort of thing. Dave’s first - and last - attempt at dating had ended on a bad note, so he was avoiding it.

Sollux was wearing the kind of glasses you would wear to a 3-D movie, for some reason, and was explaining, with a bit of a lisp, a code he had written. John was interested in that sort of thing, Dave knew, and sure enough, they were leaning over the table, eyes glimmering. He wasn’t as into it, and turned his attention to Rose and Kanaya’s conversation. They were talking about some class. Terezi was still drawing, though he couldn’t tell what exactly the picture was supposed to be. The other kid, Karkat, Dave thought, hadn’t said anything yet. Nothing at all. He was just sitting there, arms crossed, glaring at the table. 

“Hey, uh, I’m Dave,” Dave attempted. He was interrupted by Terezi.

“Don’t bother talking to Karkat. He’s under orders to be polite.” She must have anticipated his confusion, because after a second she continued, with a smug smile, “Kk tends to be a little… explosive.”

Dave glanced at the boy, startled to find that his glare had been redirected, and his eyes were now squinted at Terezi. He didn’t appear to be breathing at all, and the three were silent for a moment. Then, Karkat exploded.

“I AM PERFECTLY FUCKING POLITE! I AM THE EPITOME OF POLITENESS! EXPLOSIVE? YOU KNOW WHAT’S EXPLOSIVE? VOLCANOES! JADE WOULD KNOW! AM I A FUCKING VOLCANO JADE?”

The entire table was blanketed in silence, Karkat glaring angrily at all of them. Kanaya was frowning, Terezi was grinning, and everyone else just looked surprised. Jade started to say something, but Kanaya cut her off.

“Karkat, inside voice.”

“You’re not my mother,” he muttered. 

Before she could respond, a tall figure appeared by the booth, followed by two shorter kids, one in a wheelchair. Karkat’s face broke into a smile. “Gamzee!”

“Heeey, my best motherfuckin’ bro!” The tall kid slid into the booth next to Rose, who discreetly scooted closer to Kanaya. The kid in the wheelchair sat at the end of the table, and the other one took a seat next to Karkat, even though it involved climbing over Sollux and Aradia’s legs. She was wearing a blue hat that looked like a cat’s head.

She smiled and seemed to - purr? “I’m Nepeta. That’s Tavros.” She pointed at him, and then turned to Karkat and somehow engaged in a conversation that wasn’t earsplitting. She was telling him about couples from their school, and he was shaking his head or nodding vigorously, giving his opinion on whether they would work out or not. Pretty fucking weird, in Dave’s opinion, but who didn’t have weird hobbies? He sent his friends ridiculous verses of rap over internet chat, so who was he to judge? Jade grew pumpkins for fun, and John, well - their obsession with terrible movies was something Dave refused to let go. Rose seemed pretty normal, until you learned about the subtle, passive-aggressive war with their own mother, and the wizards. Wizards everywhere. 

He was still reflecting on his friend’s oddities when Terezi shouldered him and slid her picture over. “Dave, is this you?” He looked down.

It was a very red human that looked nothing like him, but it was labelled “So cool.” How could he say no? “Yeah, pretty much.” 

She laughed and took the paper back. Someone must have handed her a blue crayon, because now she was drawing a blue person next to the red one. “This one’s me.” 

Dave felt eyes on him and glanced over to see Nepeta watching him and Terezi with wide eyes, her hand on Karkat’s shoulder, and Karkat glaring. They looked away when he saw, but Karkat didn’t stop frowning, and Nepeta was now patting his head. Dave had no idea what that was about. 

Rose and Kanaya got everyone to quiet down and decide on what kind of pizza to order, and then left to go order it. Gamzee offered to get everyone drinks, since he had to get up to let them out of the booth anyway. He came back with some brand of soda Dave had never tried, which was met with groans of disgust by Karkat and Sollux. 

“You thouldn’t drink that thit, Gamzee. It’th not good for you.” 

“Oh my fucking God Gamz, not this crap again!”

“Hey, this stuff is motherfuckin’ good. It’s all up in the motherfuckin’ miracle zone, bros.”

Terezi snorted. “I don’t know if that’s true. I think the weed is messing with your head.”

So Gamzee was a stoner. Somehow, Dave wasn’t surprised. He seemed the type. He handed everyone a cup, and, despite everyone’s protests, poured them some of the soda. No one actually touched it, other than Gamzee, and when Rose and Kanaya returned, they sat on the other side of the bench, next to Sollux. 

Aradia seemed a little bored with the conversation about programming and computer codes, and turned to make eye contact with Dave. She smiled brightly, sipping milkshake. “You don’t have to drink that.”

He smirked. “Wasn’t planning on it.” This was awkward, of course, and his heart was still fluttering nervously, but it was a very dynamic group. Fairly easy to fit into.

“I’m Aradia, in case you didn’t catch that. You go to the school nearby, right? How’s that?”

“Oh, it’s public school. I’m sure you know.” He shook his head. “So not cool.”

She giggled. “Yeah, definitely.” She was wearing skull earrings, and black and red clothing. Dave wondered if she was some kind of goth, but she seemed too bright and happy for that. She turned to Karkat and said, “Karkat hates it.”

Terezi chimed in with a, “Karkat hates everything,” and that set him off.

“I ONLY HATE EVERYTHING BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS RIDICULOUS!” A glance from Kanaya quieted him. “Public school possibly most of all.”

The pizza came a few minutes later, and when it was all gone, Jade declared that her grandpa would probably show up at Dave’s place soon, and that they should head home. John voiced agreement, and Rose sealed the deal with an announcement that, “The party’s over.”

 

Contact information was traded, goodbyes were said, and the three friends headed back to Dave’s apartment.


	3. Chapter Two

Terezi messaged Dave at 2 am. He didn’t really feel like talking, but he couldn’t resist the shitty gifs she had written his name on. He sighed heavily, resigning himself to a very early morning dose of sarcasm and bad art. It had only been three days since they met, and already he had spent maybe 6 hours just messaging her. That averaged out to two hours a day, and Dave couldn’t really say he was ashamed. It was fun to have another person to joke around with, especially since he got the feeling that none of his friends necessarily appreciated his raps. He still sent them, of course. But it was more rewarding when someone was invested in the joke. 

 

TG: that is the sickest shit i have ever seen  
GC: >:] WHY TH4NK YOU D4V3  
TG: fuckin dope

 

Terezi wasn’t the only one who had messaged Dave, either. He had had a couple pretty chill conversations with Aradia, mostly consisting of polite, “Good morning”s and “How are you?”s, but also some discussion about music. And then there was Karkat. Karkat was a fucking landmine. If you stepped wrong, he exploded. 

A recent conversation they had had was basically Karkat yelling at him about how much rap sucked. Dave didn’t mind. He found it kind of amusing, and made sure Karkat knew that. It just infuriated him even more.

Dave knew John and Jade had made their own friends, as well. Jade and Nepeta had hit it off sometime when Dave wasn’t paying attention, apparently, and she also seemed to really like Kanaya. It made sense; they were both very sweet. John had talked to Terezi and Karkat too, but didn’t seem to enjoy either very much. They stuck to nerding out about computers and video games with Sollux. As far as Dave knew, no one had hit it off with Gamzee.

It didn’t take long for someone to propose another get-together, and for everyone to agree. This time, they met in the park. 

It was a little cooler out, which was nice, and Dave was comfortable in a jacket and binder for once. Hot days were the worst. Most of the others were wearing light jackets as well, so Dave didn’t feel like he stood out as much. He hoped no one realized he always wore it in an attempt to hide his chest - and his scars. It would seem pathetic. Although, he didn’t think Rose would befriend a group of people who were transphobic. They loved themself enough to avoid that. Probably though, they weren’t even thinking about it. Dave was just paranoid. 

Dave arrived last, alone - Jade and John had gone to Rose’s house. Dave’s brother had refused to have people over. “I don’t want my sister’s girly little friends running around my place.” Disgusting. Dave pushed the memory out of his mind. Aradia and Terezi were waving at him, so he waved back and head over to them.

“Hey guys.” 

“Hi Dave!” Aradia had her arm over the shoulders of a shorter, chubby kid with really long hair. “This is Feferi! She’s Sollux’s other girlfriend. She couldn’t make it last time.”

Feferi looked a little shy, but she shook Dave’s hand, and said, “Hi.”

“Hey. Nice to meet you.” The last part was said looking over his shoulder, because Terezi grabbed Dave’s arm and dragged him over to a bush.

“Dave!” She whispered fiercely, and he frowned.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Dave, your friend over there won’t stop talking to Vriska!”

“Who’s Vriska?”

Terezi pointed behind her back, toward a tree.

“The tree is Vriska? None of my friends are anywhere near that tree.”

“I’m sorry, I’m blind, remember. She’s the one with John. They’re over there somewhere! Dave, tell them to stay away from her. Vriska is not a good person.”

“Then why are you friends with her?” Terezi looked super upset, and Dave didn’t get it. Why invite someone you hate? 

“I’m not! Not anymore, anyway. She’s the reason Tavros’ legs don’t work. She like, pushed him down a flight of stairs when we were LARPing one time.”

“Dude, holy fuck. She should have like, a restraining order or something.”

“Tavros doesn’t seem to care much. Or he’s too much of a wimp to say he does. I don’t know, but that girl is bad news. John shouldn’t hang around her.”

Dave glanced over at John, and the girl leaning on a post next to him, chatting away. She was wearing blue lipstick, which was an interesting choice, and kept flipping her hair. “Well, I can’t control who John is friends with, but I’ll tell them what you said.”

Terezi sighed. “I guess that’s all you can do.”

Before Dave could answer, Nepeta bounced over, followed by a grumpy looking Karkat. “Hiiiiii! It’s so nice to see you again! What are you two up to?”

“Flirting,” Karkat muttered. 

Dave coughed, hoping he didn’t blush. That definitely wasn’t what was going on here. But then Terezi raised her eyebrows, and asked, “Is there a problem, Kk?”

“Why would I have a problem with that? I don’t care who you flirt with!” Karkat’s fists were clenched, and as he stomped away, Dave was starting to get the feeling that maybe he liked Terezi. It was a little obvious, he realized. More surprising was that Terezi has essentially implied that they had been flirting. He wasn’t sure if she was saying that to hint to Dave that she was interested, or to get under Karkat’s skin, but either way, they would definitely need to talk about this later.

Nepeta eyes flickered nervously between the retreating Karkat, the very confused Dave, and the suddenly pissed off Terezi.

“Wow, I’m so lost,” was all Dave managed to get out before Terezi took off after Karkat, and Nepeta attempted to follow. He decided to leave them to whatever they needed to talk about, and go meet this Vriska person.

John seemed completely enthralled. She was telling some story about pirates or something when Dave reached the pair. Though they were fixated on Vriska, John broke away when Dave appeared, greeting and introducing him.

“Dave! This is Vriska. Vriska, this is my friend Dave.”

“Nice to meet you, Dave.” Vriska extended her hand and smiled in an almost flirtatious way. Dave was glad he was wearing dark sunglasses, because he couldn’t help squinting his eyes in response, and didn’t want to seem rude. 

“Yeah, you too.” He shook her hand quickly and then stuck his own into his pockets. “Hey John, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay, what’s up?”

“Not with, uh, her.” He could feel his cheeks heat up. Why was he so awkward?

“Wow, okay. I get the hint.” Vriska flipped her hair over her shoulder and sauntered off, swinging her hips very deliberately. 

They watched her go for a few seconds, and then John frowned at Dave. “I think you hurt her feelings, Dave. What was that all about?”

“Dude, Terezi just told me that Vriska pushed Tavros down the stairs. That’s why he’s in a wheelchair. You should stay away from her.”

“Dave, everyone makes mistakes. Vriska told me about that. But she said she’s better now. You don’t think she’d push me down the stairs, do you?” John shook their head. “People can change. Vriska said no one really likes her anymore. That’s really too bad, you know? I want to be her friend.”

Dave sighed. “Yeah, okay. Whatever man. Just be careful, alright?”

John placed a hand on Dave’s shoulder and smiled a big, buck-toothed smile. “I promise I won’t let Vriska damage me. Does that make you feel better?”

“Sure.”

“Good. Hey, want to play on the swings? I’ve been wanting to since we got here.” John was grinning, and leaning sideways in the direction of the playground.

“What are you, five?” But Dave followed John to the swing set, and they proceeded to have a competition of who could swing highest.

“I bet Gamzee can swing higher than either of us,” Dave joked as they went up in the air, and John snorted, already on his way back down. Dave was winning so far, but he was getting intimidatingly close to a ninety degree angle. “Dude, what if I jumped off from here?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Dave,” John yelled, the wind nearly stealing his words.

“Nah, I was kidding, man.” He eyed the sandy ground, covered in small pebbled, and barely covering the hard dirt underneath. There was no way that could end well. 

“Do it!” Dave looked down to see Terezi grinning from the side of the swing set. She must have heard him. She was also, interestingly, holding hands with Karkat. 

“Don’t be fucking stupid, Dave.” This from Karkat, who glared at Terezi. Fucking Karkat. Fuck him. Dave had a momentary lapse of judgement.

“Fucking watch me, Kk!” Dave pumped his legs hard, and flew from the swing as it reached the top of its arc. It was a great feeling, hurtling through the air, the wind rushing past him, and he enjoyed it immensely. Right up until he hit the ground. He managed to roll slightly, but still landed on his arm. He heard a sharp crack, and the pain was nearly overwhelming. Staring up at the clouds, he fought back tears, and waited until he was able to breathe again before croaking out, “Call 911.”


	4. Chapter Three

The hospital was brightly lit, with pale blue walls everywhere. The ambulance staff were nice enough, although they all called him “she”, and “ma’am”. The biggest problem was his brother. He was so fucking angry. He came into the emergency room and yelled about his “stupid little sister”, and how much hospital bills were, and how he refused to come back and pick Dave up later. Dave was stuck there for hours with nothing to do. He couldn’t even text anyone. 

No one had been allowed to come in the ambulance with him, so they had all stayed at the park, awaiting news. He had managed to call Rose, to tell her he was fine, and that they shouldn’t worry, but it hurt too much to try and use his phone again. He was bored as hell, making up raps in his head, wishing he had his iPod or something, so he could listen to music. 

The emergency room was full of people with all kinds of injuries. He certainly wasn’t the only one with a broken arm. In fact, another such person was heading across the room towards him right now. He looked like a hipster, with big glasses and a long striped scarf. Dave avoided eye contact, assuming they wanted to pick up a magazine off the table next to him, but they stopped in front of him. 

“Excuse me, miss?” Dave groaned internally, but looked up, doing his best not to glare. “You’re very cute.”

Well damn. They were flirting with him. Fuck that. “I’m not a girl,” Dave said bluntly, trying his best not to look pained, or nervous. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Forgive me. May I sit?” They gestured to the seat next to Dave, which was currently empty.

Dave sighed, and, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses, muttered, “Sure, whatever.”

The hipster sat, cradling their arm, and apologized again. “I’m terribly sorry. So, uh, what are you then?”

“I’m a boy.” Dave bit his lip, wishing he weren’t in so much pain. Maybe then he could escape. 

“Alright. What’s your name? I’m Eridan.” The name sounded familiar, but Dave was concentrating on not screaming right now, and couldn’t remember where he had heard it.

“Dave.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Dave. I’d shake your hand, but, haha, you know.”

“Haha.” It sounded so sarcastic Dave was simultaneously proud and pissed off at himself. He was not in a good mood, he was in a lot of pain, and he did not want to talk to this stranger. Luckily, a nurse opened the door and called his name, finally. It was the wrong name, but at least he could leave soon. He walked away from Eridan without bothering to say goodbye. 

 

True to his word, Dave’s brother didn’t come pick him up. Dave ended up calling Rose, who picked him up outside the hospital. They didn’t technically have a license yet, but they’d known how to drive for years, so Dave wasn’t worried about it. Their mother was less fit to drive than they were, according to Rose. She was passed out drunk in bed at home. 

Kanaya was also in the car, and when Dave explained why he needed a ride, she said, “Well, I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but couldn’t Dave stay the night at our place, Rose?”

“Our place?” Dave could just hear the smirk and the raised eyebrows. 

“Y-your place. I meant your place!” He could imagine Kanaya’s deep blush spreading over her dark skin. Sickeningly romantic. He allowed himself a small smile.

“Well I would certainly be fine with that, if you want to, Dave. We can stop by your place to pick up anything you need.” Rose didn’t seem like the type to break rules, but really, they weren’t one for listening to authority. They had essentially stolen their mother’s car, and they were driving it around illegally. Right now, angry at his brother, and a little hurt, Dave liked the feeling that gave him. 

“Let’s do it. I don’t need anything, though. Let’s just go to your house.”

 

Rose lived in the edge of the city, next to a forest. They had an expansive living room, with expensive, soft couches, and cream carpeted floors. Big glass windows, and sliding doors out onto a deck, gave a view of trees and night sky. They couldn’t see many stars, due to lights from the city, but it was still a nice setting. Kanaya left to make tea in the kitchen, and Dave did his best to help Rose set up mattresses on the floor. They had a surprising amount of beds for a household with two members. Guest rooms, Rose said. Guest rooms for guests that never came. 

“But now they’re being put to use. Usually I only have Kanaya over, and we just sleep together in my room.” They spread a sheet over one of the mattresses, and tossed another one to Dave.

“Do you now?” He smirked as he made the bed with one hand, and Rose hit him with a pillow, careful to avoid the broken arm. 

“Oh, hush. Not like that.” 

Kanaya came back with three mugs of tea, and Dave felt bad saying he didn’t like tea, so he took a few sips. “Wow, this doesn’t suck,” came out before he could stop it.

“Um, thank you,” Kanaya looked at him strangely. 

Rose cut in. “Dave, I’m glad you’re learning manners. More importantly, though, I have an exciting announcement. I’m going to be performing a few songs on violin in a concert soon.”

“Oh, Rose, that’s amazing!” Kanaya clapped her hands excitedly, suddenly all smiles. 

Dave couldn’t help smiling as well. Rose had been playing violin for a very long time, he knew, though he’d never heard them play. They must be good to have gotten into a concert. “Congrats!”

“Thank you,” they said, smiling genuinely. The most beautiful kind of smile, in Dave’s opinion. “I hope you all can come see me play. Anyway, I tell you now because I’ve been making myself practice every night, and I don’t plan on making an exception tonight. Is it okay if I leave you two here for half an hour or so? Sorry, but the performance is going to stay a surprise.”

“Yes, of course. Go practice!” Kanaya shooed Rose off towards their room, and then turned to Dave. “We’ll probably be able to hear her. Do you want to watch TV or something? That might block out the sound.” 

Dave shrugged. “Yeah, sure.” He was a little uncomfortable being left alone with someone he’d spoken with about twice, but he pushed that feeling down. Kanaya was a perfectly nice person. They just had to find something to connect over. Kanaya switched the TV on, and he sat awkwardly on the couch watching her flip through channels. “So, uh, how long have you been going to school with Rose?”

“Oh, just a few years. Two, maybe? How long have you known them?”

“We met three years ago. I’m surprised it took so long for Rose to introduce everyone.” Dave felt a little hurt, to be honest. 

“Well, I don’t think that’s because of you three. Our group is a little… volatile. Eridan and Equius, with Aradia and Feferi… and then everything with Vriska. I don’t know how much you’ve heard, but there’ve been some issues. I think they were waiting for everything to calm down before getting everyone together.” Something clicked in Dave’s head. 

“Wait, I met someone named Eridan in the ER earlier.” Kanaya cocked her head to the side quizzically. “Hipster glasses, gelled up hair? Big scarf?”

“Oh, wow. What a strange coincidence. Yeah, that’s him.”

“He was flirting with me. It was weird.” He didn’t want to mention that Eridan had thought he was a girl. “So what was his deal?”

“Well, he and Feferi were very close friends, but he’s a very negative, needy person. So, he wanted more, and she wanted much less. He tried to ask her out while she was trying to break off their friendship. It was messy.” Kanaya was still flipping through channels, but she didn’t seem to be paying much attention to the TV anymore.

“Gotcha. And who’s Equius?” He hadn’t heard that name mentioned before.

Kanaya grimaced. “Equius is Nepeta’s friend. He had a thing for Aradia. It was sort of the same situation, except that they weren’t really anything more than acquaintances. He kissed her, I believe. She hasn’t talked to him since. He’s also, uh, weirdly… into horses. And working out.”

Dave had a lifetime supply of guys with weird fetishes who worked out too much, just from living with his brother. He made a vow to stay away from this “Equius”. “Yeah, I’d stop talking to him too. So they’re both with Sollux now?” Conversation was flowing a little more freely now. Dave felt a little bad gossiping, but he told himself he was just trying to get to know these people.

“Yes. I’m glad, they all seem very happy together. Sollux tends to be a little angry, especially with Karkat, but they seem to calm him down. And they’re both very close friends as well. It’s nice to see relationships working out,” Kanaya said, smiling into her tea. 

Dave nodded. “Mhmmm.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. Rose would be getting done soon. 

“What about you, Dave? Any romance in your life?” Her voice was almost teasing, and she was still smiling. 

“Ha. No. Well, once. A few months ago. But he was a dick.” He laughed unconvincingly. 

She cocked her head again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“My boyfriend refused to refer to me as a male. He ‘didn’t want people to think he was gay.’ Well, fuck him.” Dave pretended not to care, but the truth was, that was where his scars came from in the first place. That, and his brother’s obvious lack of support. It had finally got to him, and after that first time, he hadn’t found a reason to stop hurting himself. But he wasn’t going to tell that to Kanaya. 

“Oh, Dave. I’m so sorry. Fuck him, indeed.” She looked a little uncomfortable swearing, and Dave appreciated the effort.

“It’s okay. Thanks for explaining stuff to me.” He offered a smile, which she returned. 

“It’s no trouble. Oh, looks like Rose is done.”

Rose was walking through the large doorway, making their way towards Dave and Kanaya. “What are you watching?”

“Oh, we were just talking.” Kanaya handed Rose the TV remote. “You can find something you want to watch.”

They did, and the three ended up falling asleep on the couch, to the sound of Animal Planet.


	5. Chapter Four

Rose’s concert was two weeks later. Nearly everyone showed up to watch them. They all sat in a row of seats together, commenting on how comfortable they were, and how nice the building was, and how glad they were to be able to hear Rose play. Not even Kanaya had heard Rose play violin before. 

Karkat and Terezi were sitting next to each other, sandwiched by Dave and Gamzee. By that time, they had tentatively admitted feelings for each other. Dave wasn’t sure what was going on with them, but he knew that him and Terezi now had a strictly platonic relationship. No flirting, just shitty memes. They were having a low key whisper-rap battle right now, waiting for the show to start, and Karkat was rolling his eyes at them. 

They stopped when someone stepped onto stage, introducing the concert and asking everyone to turn off electronics, and not take pictures, please. Rose was the last act before intermission, so they had to wait a while to see them perform, but it wasn’t bad. The other acts were pretty good. Dave was always amazed by music’s ability to elicit feelings - to “tug on people’s heartstrings”. It was almost like being in love; a fluttery, tight kind of feeling in his chest, that also made him feel like crying. Crying, or singing at the top of his lungs. He wanted to be a part of it. He had never understood how every good song he had ever heard made him feel that way, but it was definitely a constant thing. Who needed romance when you could just listen to music all the time?

When Rose finally came onstage, their friends exploded. Nepeta and Aradia jumped up, clapping hard, and Vriska whistled, just for the heck of it, Dave guessed. She didn’t seem to be close with Rose. The rest of them clapped as well, and shouted their name. 

 

They were wearing a shimmery black dress, which was covered in sparkles that caught the stage lights brilliantly, and they had purple flowers in their hair. They were carrying their violin and bow, and when they bowed, their background musicians began to play. There were drums, and a flute, and a keyboard. And then there was Rose. When they began to play, their violin strains adding to the rise and fall of the music, lifting and dropping, gliding, they also began to dance. Stepping in time to the beat of the drum, and their own notes, dipping and turning, leaping and pointing their toes. They twisted and high-stepped, all the while keeping perfect focus on what they were playing. They played three songs, and the entire audience was captivated through each one.

When they finished, the house lights came on to reveal a standing ovation, full of screaming, wildly clapping people. Dave’s heart felt like it was going to burst. Kanaya was actually crying, and Aradia was holding her hand and cheering. Jade and John were jumping up and down with Nepeta and Feferi, clapping enthusiastically, smiles spreading wide across each of their faces. 

They wouldn’t get a chance to talk to Rose until the concert was over, so they chattered excitedly among themselves. Even Vriska, Sollux, and Karkat seemed impressed. Gamzee had disappeared somehow, and Terezi was moving past everyone, on her way to the bathroom. They both re-appeared by the end of intermission, and everyone settled down to watch the rest of the music. 

The concert was amazing, and when Rose appeared, they were nearly tackled by a horde of adoring fans. They were grinning uninhibited, and they seemed so happy, Dave felt tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. When he got his chance to congratulate them, he pulled them into a tight hug, despite his cast, and whispered, “Rose, I’m so proud. You were spectacular.” They hugged him back, just as tight, and tucked a flower into his hair. 

“I don’t know if you got the full sparkle experience through those sunglasses,” they teased, and then thanked him before being stolen by Kanaya and Jade. 

 

It was later, when Rose and Kanaya were driving him home, that Rose stopped the car in a gas station parking lot and turned to the backseat to tell him and Kanaya that they had seen something. 

“I was going to the bathroom during intermission, the one that’s for performers, and… I saw Terezi and Gamzee.”

“And that’s important because?” Dave frowned, hoping they weren’t implying what it sounded like they were implying.

“They were, um, kissing.”

There was a long silence, broken finally by Dave’s, “Well fuck.”


	6. Chapter Five

Dave was less okay with Terezi dating Gamzee than he was with her dating Karkat - and even then, he felt like she deserved better. Someone who wouldn’t yell at her. Although, to be fair, with Karkat it was hard to take the yelling personally. He was a high-strung individual. 

Gamzee, though. Dave had a very bad feeling about that relationship, and he was sort of hoping the kiss was a one time thing. It had been about a month since he had met everyone, and he felt all wrapped up in their lives already. One thing he knew for sure was that Gamzee was into some pretty hardcore drugs. He made Dave kind of uncomfortable, and even though conversations with him tended not to wield any useful information, he was noticing that even Karkat was reconsidering their status as best friends. 

Just like with John’s strange flirtations with Vriska, Dave had no control over who Terezi chose to spend her time with. He just hoped she wouldn’t do anything dangerous. Hoped that she hadn’t already. 

He had talked to Rose and Kanaya about it, and both thought he should tell Karkat. Or talk to Terezi. He really hadn’t wanted to do either of those things; he’d have preferred to pretend this problem didn’t exist. But it was in Terezi’s best interest to make sure she was okay, so he had pulled out his phone and texted Karkat, who less than politely informed him that, yeah, it was pretty fucking obvious that something was going on between those two. 

Dave had asked if he was okay with that, his best friend and his almost-girlfriend? Karkat had replied that Terezi could do what she wanted. He didn’t say how he felt about the Gamzee part of it. When Dave asked if he thought Terezi would be okay, Karkat didn’t answer.

He wasn’t brave enough to talk to Terezi about it yet; to tell her that her secret wasn’t really that much of a secret anymore. He continued exchanging meaningless nonsense with her, but wasn’t as into it anymore. He wished they could have a real conversation. 

Terezi wasn’t the only one with relationship issues, either. John had called Dave the day before, sounding slightly disappointed.

“Vriska has a girlfriend.”

Dave wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just went with, “Oh.” 

“Her name’s Meenah.”

There was an almost silence, filled with phone static and light breathing. 

“I thought she liked me, Dave.” John’s usually energetic voice was dull and flat. Dave didn’t necessarily feel bad that it hadn’t worked out between the two, but he was sorry that John was upset, so he apologized.

“I’m sorry, man. Can I do anything?”

There was another pause before John said, “Not really. Want to play a game?”

They spent the rest of the afternoon playing online games together, and by dinnertime John was chipper as usual. Dave liked to imagine his inspirational raps had contributed to that. Jade had joined them for a couple games, but she told them she was a little busy setting up a habitat for her new pet, and the two nerds had spent probably twenty minutes gushing over their amphibians. John had recently gotten a salamander, which he had named Casey for some reason. A movie reference, if Dave knew anything about his friend. Jade was saving up to buy tadpoles that she could raise herself. 

It had been a while since they had “hung out” like that, and it was nice. School and relationship dramas were stressing everyone out. It was cool to just chill for a while. 

Unfortunately, Dave had a few problems of his own that he couldn’t shake. Namely, his brother. His brother, who had found his binder in the washing machine and thrown it away. Who had replaced Dave’s sign on his own bedroom door, one saying simply, “Dave’s cool as hell room”, with one that said his old name. Who refused to stop calling Dave his little sister. Dave had spent more than a few nights at Rose’s house over the past few weeks, getting up early to take the subway to get to school. His brother ignoring the change had been bad enough, but now it felt like he was actively resisting it. 

Dave had pulled his binder out of the trash, feeling like he was going to throw up. It was covered in coffee grounds and globs of yogurt, and torn a little where a sharp piece of plastic had caught in the threads. He had promised the pathetic piece of cloth that he would hand wash it from now on, and keep it somewhere safe, though he didn’t know where. He was worried now that his brother would come into his room and mess with his stuff. 

He was more worried that if this continued, it would lead to violence. His brother had never been the most even-tempered, and when Dave was little he had been hit more than once, as punishment for minor infractions. It had lessened as he got older and locked himself in his room more often, but Dave doubted his brother would hold back if he got angry enough. 

He hadn’t told anyone exactly what was going on with him, but Rose at least had guessed that there were some issues at home. They hadn’t pried, which he appreciated, because he could tell they were curious. The only thing he had said in direct reference to the situation was that he hoped their mother didn’t mind him coming over so often. Rose just smirked and shook her head. “She hardly cares about anything I do, Dave.”

So he had somewhere to go if he felt particularly uncomfortable staying in the apartment with his brother. That was all he needed. No need to worry the rest of his friends by complaining about his life. They all had their own worries.


	7. Chapter Six

They all met Meenah at Terezi’s birthday party. Aradia’s birthday had passed a couple weeks earlier without much fanfare, and Dave hadn’t heard about it until a few days afterwards, when he apologized and wished her a happy late birthday. But Terezi was going all out. Though she couldn’t enjoy them as much as the others, she ordered streamers and balloons and a big, decorated cake, covered in fondant dragons. Terezi’s parents had left them to their party, to Dave’s surprise, and as a result, she seemed to feel comfortable blasting music at an unholy volume. Dave usually appreciated music. Almost always, in fact. This, though, was just over the top.

Vriska had sauntered in, to Dave’s surprise, carrying a large bag full of tissue paper, with her arm wrapped around the waist of a short girl with curls and two braids that were much, much longer than the rest of her hair. He hadn’t expected Vriska to be invited, but here she was, and who else could the other girl be but Meenah, her new girlfriend?

Meenah was dancing erratically to the music, and when Karkat spotted them and yelled, “Who the hell are you?” she swung her braids and smirked. 

“We’re crashin’ the party, bitches.” So they hadn’t been invited after all. Vriska had brought a gift though, so maybe they had good intentions?

Terezi didn’t end up talking to Vriska at all, ignoring her every time she attempted contact. She introduced herself to Meenah as quickly as possible, and didn’t talk to her either after that. Dave watched her interactions with Karkat and Gamzee especially, and what he noticed worried him. Karkat was acting oddly cool with her - not yelling or arguing or anything. He was stiff and unresponsive to her taunts and jokes. She gave up quickly, and avoided him for the rest of the night as well, electing to spend most of her time with Aradia and Nepeta. 

A group of them played card games for a while, with Dave helping Terezi by telling her what cards she was holding, and what cards other people had played. Karkat and Meenah really seemed to hit it off, spending a lot of time yelling over the music. Really, most of the party was people hanging out and eating cake, with a backdrop of decorations and intense sound waves. 

Karkat and Gamzee had some very obvious tension going on, and at one point Dave thought they were going to fight, but Kanaya appeared in time and pulled Karkat away, under the pretense of needing help wrapping a present. Gamzee disappeared for a while after that, and Dave couldn’t manage to convince himself that Terezi’s subsequent temporary absence was a coincidence. 

All in all, he got to spend time with friends, but it was a stressful party. Rose had sat with him for a while, and it felt a little better knowing they were seeing the same things he was, and worrying about them just as much, but it didn’t really fix anything. How could he help Terezi if he couldn’t even make himself talk to her?

Finally, when she reappeared without Gamzee, he forced himself to approach her.

“Hey, happy birthday, man. I never said that before.” Dave could feel his hands shaking slightly, and he cursed them. In rhyme. He could do this. 

“Thanks Dave! I haven’t talked to you since we played cards. Do you like my party? I made sure the decorations were perfect. Just cause I can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there. It’s the thought that counts, am I right?” She seemed a little jumpy as well, and that’s what gave Dave the courage to actually bring up Gamzee.

“Oh, yeah. They’re so rad. Seriously. But, uh, I actually have something I want to talk to you about.” He fiddled with the hem of his jacket, and even though he knew she couldn’t see him, he couldn’t bring himself to look at her face. 

“Okay. What’s up?” She sounded a little wary, and Dave wanted to melt away. This was none of his business. He hardly even knew her. But he was worried. He pressed on. 

“It’s about Gamzee.”

“...Oh.”

"Yeah.” A nervous energy was growing between them, making it hard to form sentences. “Um… Rose saw you. You and, uh, Gamzee. Together. You know.”

“Oh.” Terezi said it flatly, but Dave detected a hint of panic. It spurred his struggling brain into coming up with the right words. 

“Terezi, I just want to make sure you’re okay. Gamzee seems kind of… unhealthy.”

“Dave, I’m fine. Trust me. I can take care of myself. I’m a big girl.” She nudged his   
unbroken arm, and started walking away. She called, “And tell Rose to mind her own business!” over her shoulder. He couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. 

Later that night, he sent Terezi a few messages, asking how she had liked her birthday, sending a few lines of rap, informing her that he had seen a cake as fuckin dope as hers. She never responded. Karkat, however, wouldn’t stop messaging him, so he finally clicked open the chat and answered. It was message after message of Karkat creatively insulting Gamzee.

 

CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAS EVER FRIENDS WITH THAT ROUGH PIECE OF  
SPLINTERY FLOORBOARD.  
CG: HE’S LIKE A MILKSHAKE WITH CHUNKS OF ICE.  
CG: NO ONE WANTS TO DRINK A MILKSHAKE LIKE THAT DAVE.  
CG: WANT TO KNOW WHY?  
CG: BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING AWFUL.  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUCKING AWFUL?  
CG: GAMZEE MOTHERFUCKING MAKARA.  
TG: splintery floorboard?  
TG: thats harsh man  
TG: what brought this on  
TG: or did you just decide it was about time someone revealed the truth  
TG: the truth about gamzee the floorboard  
TG: and all this time I thought he was a normal teenager  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP DAVE.  
CG: DO YOU SEE YOUR FUCK DAVE?  
CG: IT’S WIDE OPEN.  
CG: SHUT.  
CG: IT.  
TG: jesus man chill  
TG: why so angry  
TG: oh wait  
TG: sorry i forgot  
TG: this is relaxed for you  
CG: DAVE I SWEAR TO GOD.  
TG: dont swear to me man im not that great  
CG: HA FUCKING HA.  
CG: YOU’RE REALLY FUNNY DAVE.  
CG: YOU COULD BE A SHITTY CLOWN.  
CG: THAT’S WHAT GAMZEE WANTS TO BE.  
CG: THAT WOULD EXPLAIN A FUCKING LOT.  
TG: hey man, too far  
TG: are you comparing me to gamzee?  
TG: im not gonna take that kind of insult  
TG: im out yo  
CG: NO, WAIT.  
CG: I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO.  
TG: wow i feel so special  
TG: glad i mean so much to you  
CG: DAVE, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU SPECIFICALLY.  
CG: YOU ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME IN BETWEEN YOUR RIDICULOUS SUBTLY  
OFFENSIVE INTERJECTIONS.  
TG: yeah cause im a fucking decent human being  
TG: i was kidding anyway man its fine what do you need?  
CG: I’M REALLY FUCKING PISSED AT GAMZEE.  
TG: no kidding  
CG: SHUT UP.  
CG: I’M SORRY.  
CG: IT’S JUST, I THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FRIENDS.  
CG: BUT THEN HE STOPPED TALKING TO ME AS MUCH.  
CG: AND THEN THIS JERK ERIDAN CALLED ME ONE NIGHT.  
CG: FUCK IF I KNOW HOW HE EVEN GOT MY NUMBER.  
TG: wait i know that guy  
TG: sorry continue  
CG: HE WAS WITH GAMZEE DRINKING AND SHIT.  
CG: AND GAMZEE WAS GOING CRAZY AND THROWING CRAP AROUND AND  
THEN HE STRAIGHT UP PASSED THE FUCK OUT I GUESS.  
CG: ERIDAN WANTED ME TO COME GET HIM.  
CG: AND I SAID FUCK THAT.  
TG: wow dude cold hearted  
CG: DAVE.  
TG: kidding  
CG: I FEEL LIKE A TERRIBLE FRIEND.  
CG: BUT I ALSO FEEL LIKE GAMZEE IS BEING A WORSE FRIEND.  
CG: ANYTIME WE TALKED HE JUST INSULTED ME.  
CG: NOT IN A FRIENDLY WAY EITHER.  
TG: youre the expert in that kk  
CG: WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME THAT?  
CG: IT DOESN’T MATTER.  
CG: HIS DRUG PROBLEM HAS ALWAYS WORRIED ME.  
CG: BUT SINCE ERIDAN CALLED GAMZEE HASN’T TALKED TO ME AT ALL.  
CG: EXCEPT TO COME OVER AND THROW THINGS AT ME.  
TG: what  
CG: HE HAD BEER CANS AND WHEN I WOULDN’T LET HIM INTO MY HOUSE HE  
THREW THEM AT ME.  
CG: DAVE.  
CG: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  
CG: WHAT IF HE HURTS TEREZI?  
TG: i know  
TG: maybe you should tell her about the drinking  
CG: SHE’LL THINK I’M JEALOUS.  
CG: LIKE I WOULD BE JEALOUS OF THAT COBWEB INFESTED ROTTING  
MILDEWY RAFTER.  
TG: what is with you and the building features dude  
TG: i can try to talk to her again but she hasnt answered me at all tonight  
TG: i think she’s avoiding me  
CG: IT’S WORTH A TRY.  
CG: I GUESS I CAN TRY TOO.  
CG: BUT IF SHE THINKS I’M JUST TRYING TO SPLIT THEM UP...  
CG: I DON’T KNOW.  
CG: DAVE I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.  
CG: WHY DID EVERYTHING FALL APART ALL AT ONCE.  
TG: kk  
TG: hey man im really sorry  
TG: im gonna help you put things back together  
TG: theyre gonna be so together when im done with them theyll be arrested for public   
indecency  
CG: DAVE STOP THAT BULLSHIT.  
TG: yeah yeah this is serious  
TG: can i just say though  
TG: im on your side  
TG: and im on terezis side  
TG: and were gonna help her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like kk is coming off a little Caliborn-esque, so if that's the case I apologize


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So short I'm sorry  
> Trigger warnings for self harm and abuse

It was a few days before Terezi finally talked to Dave. He had grown increasingly worried, and eventually decided to call her. She came up with some lame excuse about having lost her phone, and being too busy to check the computer, and Dave’s heart sank. If she felt like she had to lie about what she’d been up to, it probably had something to do with Gamzee. 

“Terezi, please. It’s kind of obvious you’ve been avoiding me. Where have you been? You can tell me the truth.”

“Dave-” Her voice broke, and she drew a shaky breath. “Can you come to my house? Ask Karkat to come too. I need your help.”

 

She gave him her address, since Rose had taken him before, and he promised to be there as quick as possible, and to make sure Karkat was as well. He texted him, “terezis house, meet me asap”. He was rooting around in a kitchen drawer for spare change for the subway when his brother appeared in the doorway. 

“Hey, bitch, what are you looking for?” Dave nearly jumped, spinning around. He wasn’t wearing his jacket or his binder, and he was painfully aware of his chest, and of the cuts all over his unbroken arm. He didn’t know what to do, unable to fulfill the strong desire to hide his body. 

He stammered out, “I n-need money for the subway.”

“Why don’t you get a fucking job? Like me? I pay for everything around here. Have you forgotten about your little hospital visit? Money doesn’t come from nowhere. Stupid girl. If you’re going somewhere, you can walk.”

“But-” Was all Dave managed to say before his brother slapped him. Hard. He gasped, raising a hand to his face, accidentally flashing his wounds. 

“What the fuck happened to your arm? Did you do that? Looking for even more attention? What a fucking bitch. Get out of my way.” He pushed Dave away from the counter, roughly. Dave held his broken arm to his chest, heart beating fast and head spinning. 

He retreated to his room, quickly pulling on his binder, which wasn’t easy with a cast, and sending another text to Karkat, asking if he could pick him up. The reply was quick, and confused, since Karkat lived way closer to Terezi than Dave did, but he said he could probably convince his father. 

They showed up twenty minutes later, and drove back the way they came with Dave in the backseat. It was a car ride full of awkward silence, Karkat’s dad not bothering to introduce himself, and Karkat not bothering to start a conversation. When they finally got to Terezi’s house, she was sitting on the front step, forehead resting on her knees. She straightened up when she heard the car pull into the driveway, glasses askew. 

They got out of the car and started to approach, when Karkat stopped. Dave glanced at him. He looked horrified, staring at Terezi’s face. Dave craned his neck to see from his perspective and his heart skipped a beat. 

The side of Terezi’s face was purple and blue, and the red glasses made the colors pop in a sickening way. She must have realized they’d seen, because she raised a hand to her cheekbone, reminding Dave of his earlier encounter with his brother. 

“Terezi, what the hell happened to you? Are you okay?” Karkat was frozen, but it didn’t stop him from shouting. 

“Dave, Karkat… he hit me.”

“Whoa!” They said in unison. Karkat rushed over, hugging her.

“Terezi…” Dave continued, feeling like he was going to be sick. “That is complete bullshit. Break up with him.”

“I’m so sorry,” Karkat mumbled into her hair.

Terezi wiped tears from her eyes, forcing a small laugh. “I thought I could handle the drugs, and the weird soda obsession, and him mocking me for being blind. But I’m scared, guys. I want to get out, but I don’t know if I can.”

Dave shook his head, disgusted with Gamzee. “We’re staging an intervention. No more drugs, no more soda, no more Gamzee. We’re not letting him anywhere near you.” If only someone could protect him from his brother.


	9. Chapter Eight

GC: I M34N, FOR 3X4MPLE, H3 4LW4YS US3D TH3 RIGHT PRONOUNS FOR  
3V3RYON3  
GC: I THOUGHT TH4T W4S NIC3   
CG: NOT BEING TRANSPHOBIC DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT AN ASSHOLE.  
CG: FUCK, THERE ARE TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE ASSHOLES.  
CG: HAVE YOU MET DAVE?  
TG: so true man  
GC: >:[   
CG: I’M SERIOUS.  
CG: HE WAS THAT BAD.  
CG: NOBODY WANTS HIM AROUND.

 

They were doing their best to convince Terezi that she didn’t need to feel bad about the breakup with Gamzee. More so his exile from the friend group than the actual breakup, really, even though that was Kanaya’s idea, and met with strong support from everyone. She still wanted nothing to do with him, which was good, but she felt bad for “taking away all his friends.”

Terezi had assumed Gamzee was a good guy who just had a little drug problem. They all had, really. He was part of a group of people Rose had chosen to befriend. None of them had seen the abuse coming, and Dave was glad as hell that he had decided to call that day.

Another thing Terezi was worried about was Vriska. When she had brought it up, Dave had expected her to complain about John spending time with her again, or some new insult/literal injury that had been Vriska’s fault. What Terezi actually said nearly made him drop the apple juice he was holding. 

She wanted to be friends again. Since Vriska had started dating Meenah, she seemed nicer. Dave could agree with that - she had definitely mellowed out - but Terezi’s hatred of the girl had seemed so solid. Maybe it would be good for her to have her old best friend back, though. If Vriska had gone through some self-reflection and decided she wasn’t going to push anyone else down any stairs, then great. Why not reinstate the friendship?

To be honest, Dave was a little jealous. He felt like he and Terezi were getting pretty close; past the point of just joking around. Real friendship. If she and Vriska started spending more time together, maybe she wouldn’t need him anymore. Not that he wanted her to “need” him. He’d prefer it if she actually liked him, but really, he couldn’t tell. Sometimes it seemed like she found him amusing, and useful, but didn’t actually care about him all that much. He had almost talked to Karkat about it, but never got up the courage. 

More than any of that, Dave wanted to talk to someone about what was going on with his brother. It had finally gotten physical, and Dave was more scared than ever to be living with a ridiculously strong man who owned a real sword, and more than a few knives. He had stayed out of his brother’s way for the most part since he had slapped him, but there was only so much space in a two bedroom apartment. 

The obvious choice was to talk to Rose, but Dave found himself hesitating. They had let him stay over, and had driven him around, and if he told them about this, they would offer him more help. He couldn’t ask more of them. They had their own problems with their mother, they didn’t need him bothering them all the time, asking to stay in their house, making them act as transportation. Illegally, no less. It wasn’t fair. He couldn’t put them in that position. He wasn’t their responsibility. 

A small voice in the back of his head told him that the person who was responsible for him clearly wasn’t a good option for protection, and he told himself to shut up. He could take care of himself. He had been caught off guard last time. It wouldn’t happen again. 

He considered telling Karkat and Terezi as well, but Terezi had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, and Dave had never talked to Karkat about something that deeply personal. He didn’t know if they were good enough friends for that. It hit him again that he had only known these people for a couple months. 

John and Jade would listen, and feel bad for him, he was sure, but they wouldn’t understand. Their families were accepting. They were loved, and taken care of. Maybe they would try to help him, or offer to talk whenever he needed, but it would just feel like pity. He didn’t want pity. He just wanted to feel safe. 

The answer came in the unexpected form of Vriska’s girlfriend. Meenah had somehow gotten ahold of his number, from Karkat probably, and had called to invite him to some party Vriska was going to. She had originally invited Karkat, but he had said he wasn’t going to be a third wheel, so she had promised to invite someone else as well. Dave wondered what that was implying, exactly, but didn’t get the chance to ask, because his brother yelled from the other room.

“Hey, sis, come here!”

Dave debated not responding, but that would most likely invoke his wrath. It pained him to answer to “sis”, but he yelled back, “Just a second, I’m on the phone.”

That was the wrong answer, apparently, because his brother stomped down the hall and flung his door open. He must have forgotten to lock it when he got home from school. “I said, come here.”

“Dude, just a second. Sorry Meenah.” His heart was pounding and he was having trouble drawing steady breaths, but he forced his voice to sound nonchalant. 

“It’s cool.”

His brother, on the other hand, did not find it cool. He was glaring at Dave, arms crossed over his chest in a vaguely hostile way. “Get your ass over here right now.”

“Bro-” He crossed the room in less than a second, smacking the cellphone out of Dave’s hand and slamming his head into the desk. He then pulled his chair out and dragged him across the room, pushing him to the floor in front of the doorway. 

“If you keep acting like this, I’ll hurt you worse than that, bitch.” He stormed off, apparently forgetting he had wanted something from Dave.

Dave lay on the floor, arms and forehead throbbing, his brain feeling like it was split in two. It took him a second to calm down and realize Meenah was still on the phone. Fuck. He crawled over to where it was lying next to the foot of his bed, and raised it to his ear. 

“Um, Meenah?” His voice quavered, and he mentally kicked himself.

“...Dave… who the fuck was that? Are you okay?” 

“So you heard all that.” Fuck fuck fuck.

“Uh, yeah. You need to like, call the police or something. I’ll do it for you, what’s your address?”

“No! No, Meenah, that was my brother. Don’t call the police.” Fuuuuuck.

“That was your brother? Oh hell no, Dave, that is not okay. Didn’t you all disown Gamzee for hitting Terezi? You can’t do that and then just let this happen! No way.”

Dave felt tears sliding down his face. He barely even knew Meenah - he hadn’t ever talked to her after he introduced himself. Karkat liked her, but hey, Karkat had liked Gamzee. Dave didn’t want her to know this about him. He didn’t respond, just flipped over onto his back and wished he had a free hand to hold to his aching head. 

“Dave, talk to me. You need to get out of there. I’m assuming this isn’t the first time something like this has happened?”

“Meenah,” he whispered, and then cleared his throat. This time, he spoke at full volume. “Meenah, I can’t come to the party. I’m sorry. Please don’t tell anyone about this.” He hung up the phone.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for violence and blood  
> I'm so sorry  
> It'll be less painful after this chapter

Dave wasn’t sure if Meenah would actually keep his secret or not, but no one brought it up in the next few days, so he assumed she had so far. His brother had hit him one more time, after he accidentally left the milk out on the counter, and Dave was starting to think maybe he was just looking for excuses to become violent. Meenah was right - he had to get out. But where could he go? He had nowhere.

So he decided not to think about it. He focused on school work and computer games, and checked up on Terezi to make sure she was doing okay. He didn’t answer Meenah’s calls. He didn’t even read her texts, though it made him curious in a way that pulled him apart. What if she had told someone? What if she had told Rose? Or the police? But he couldn’t think about that. There was no problem if he didn’t accept that there was a problem. And if he didn’t have a problem, well, why would he need a solution?

Terezi was hard at work building up the strength of will to ask Vriska to spend some time together, and Dave was acting as her moral support. It wasn’t a great distraction, but it was something. He finally convinced her to have Kanaya organize a small get together at the pizza place, with just a few other people. It would be easier for them to start talking, and get comfortable with each other. She invited Rose, of course, and then Vriska, Meenah, and Karkat. They also insisted Dave come along. 

Despite her good intentions, when they were all seated at a table, awkwardly trying to make conversation, Terezi could hardly even say hello to Vriska. Dave nudged her a few times, trying to be encouraging, but she seemed frozen. Dave tried to seem busy, too, avoiding Meenah’s eyes. She hardly ate, and when everyone decided it was time to go home, she stood silently and barely nodded when Vriska and Meenah said their goodbyes. Meenah placed a hand on Dave’s shoulder, and smiled.

She said simply, “It was nice to see you.” He offered a very obviously forced smile, and walked out with Terezi. He had briefly conversed with everyone else at the table, but there was palpable tension between the group, and they were all relieved to be done. Karkat seemed a little reluctant to say goodbye for some reason, but he did, and finally it was just Rose and Kanaya left. 

“Are you sure you’re okay going home?” Rose looked concerned, and when he glanced at Kanaya he saw she shared their expression. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks, though.” 

“You haven’t been over in a while, are things getting better, or…?”

“Uh, yeah.” He was glad it was dark; maybe they wouldn’t see his face turning red, or notice him wiping sweaty palms on the sides of his jeans. “No new arguments, you know?”

“Alright. That’s good.” They both smiled, and told him to be careful walking home. He said of course, and the three parted ways.

It was late, and since the days were growing shorter, it was already dark, and steadily getting colder. It had rained the day before, as well, and the streets were still covered in puddles that tried to soak through Dave’s shoes. A soft breeze tousled his hair, and he shook it back into place as he crossed the road. He crossed his arms over his chest, hoping it might retain a little body heat. Dave walked fast, moving past alleyways and over crosswalks with the inattentiveness of someone who knew their way by heart, until he heard someone call his name.

It was slurred, and angry sounding, accompanied by uneven footsteps in an alley a few feet behind him. His heart nearly stopped, and he turned slowly, walking back, trying to keep his breathing normal. It was Gamzee. Gamzee, with scratches on his face and tangles in his hair, completely drunk, even swinging a couple empty beer bottles. Fuck. He was all alone. He had no idea what Gamzee was thinking, but his stance was predatory, and his slowly spreading smile was more than a little disturbing.

“Heeey motherfucker! You’re the one who stole my girlfriend. And my best friend, too. Kk doesn’t like me no more, cause of motherfucking you!”

Is that what he thought? How could he possibly twist things that much in his head? Gamzee was getting closer, and Dave tried to back up, to escape, but he tripped over a bottle in the mouth of the alley and fell on the ground. Gamzee reached over, tossing away one of his bottles and grabbing the front of Dave’s shirt. He pulled him up, and Dave wasn’t quite scared enough to miss the fact that Gamzee was fucking strong. 

Dave could feel himself shaking, his heart rate sped up so much it almost hurt. Why was getting beat up so much lately? Because, undoubtedly, that was Gamzee’s plan. He tried to block his face, but Gamzee swung his arm out, surprising Dave, and shattered his remaining bottle against one of the brick walls. He couldn’t figure out why, until he held the neck up, the end sharp and jagged. Fuck. He could barely breathe. He felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

He started kicking, pushing Gamzee away, trying to remove the hand on his collar, anything, anything, but he was too weak. It hardly made any difference to Gamzee, who held the glass up to Dave’s face with a huge grin. 

“You might want to stop squirming, brother. Broken glass is dangerous.”

Dave went limp, paralyzed with fear. He could hear his own breathing, and faint sounds from their surroundings, but it all seemed distant. Like he had earplugs in, or was on the other side of a door. Gamzee wasted no time in dragging the broken edges of the bottle across Dave’s face, knocking his glasses off, and sending blood streaming down his chin and neck. He barely registered the pain. He was too far gone. 

Everything was a blur, as Gamzee beat him with the bottle, effectively ripping clothing and skin. He punched him repeatedly in the face, the stomach, the ribs. He threw him to the ground and kicked him. There was blood and shattered glass everywhere. Dave didn’t feel any of it. He just felt numb.

The last thing he remembered was lying in the dirt, Gamzee’s footsteps shuffling away, and the colorful streetlights reflecting in the puddles on the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters feel so much shorter I'll try to make the next one longer


	11. Chapter Ten

In the hospital again, this time stuck in an actual bed, Dave wanted to die. He was in so much pain, and when his brother found out about this, there was no telling how much more pain he would have to look forward to. Fucking hospital bills. Since he was an inpatient now, though, his friends were allowed to visit, and visit they did. 

According to Rose, who wouldn’t let anyone else in until they made sure Dave was fit for company, Eridan had been searching for Gamzee, when he found Dave in the alley, obviously in need of medical care. He had called the ambulance, and waited with Dave, who he recognized from their meeting in the ER. Somehow he made the connection that the kid Gamzee had been angry at since he was thrown out of the group was the kid in front of him, and called Karkat. 

That had been at 3 am, and Karkat had called Rose and Kanaya immediately, begging them to pick him up so they could all go see Dave. Rose smiled as they relayed this particular piece of information, and Dave glared at them. It was the smile Kanaya had worn when asking about his love life. What the hell was that supposed to imply? There was no fucking way Karkat liked him, just because he was worried that his friend had been hospitalized. Anyway, they had told him to wait until morning, he had argued that it was morning, and they said they’d pick him up at 10. 

After Rose talked him through what had happened, they decided it was acceptable for the others to come see Dave. He wasn’t in any life threatening danger. The first in the door were Karkat and Terezi, followed by Aradia and Kanaya. John and Jade were arriving later in the day, and sent their best wishes via Rose. Aradia and Terezi buzzed around his bedside, asking if he was okay and how he felt and when he could leave the hospital. 

Kanaya met his eyes on that last question, and he knew she was remembering his brother’s reaction the last time he had been here. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t help looking away, ashamed. He focused instead on Aradia, who was saying something about broken ribs and cuts on his face. That’s when he realized why it hurt so much to breathe. It was also when he realized that in the short-sleeved hospital gown, the cuts Gamzee had given him weren’t the only ones that were visible.

Dave tried to move his arm so the thin, uniform, very intentional scars couldn’t be seen, but it was clear by the way they were staring that Karkat and Rose had already noticed. He refused to make eye contact this time, with either one, and moved his arm anyway. Terezi wouldn’t see, of course, but he didn’t need Kanaya and Aradia knowing about this. Kanaya was explaining to Terezi that Dave’s face was badly bruised, and torn up, and he wished he had a mirror. He must look awful. 

For that matter, it hit him that he wasn’t wearing his binder. He wasn’t wearing anything other than his boxers and the hospital gown. No one had said anything, or looked at him strangely, but he was sure they had all noticed. Fuck. Fuck. His immediate reaction was to consider asking everyone to leave immediately, but he didn’t really want them gone. He just wanted his chest gone. Feeling a little panicky, he tried to seem casual about pulling the blanket on his bed up slightly. He felt more exposed than ever. 

The entire visit was less enjoyable than it could have been, and he promised himself he would never spend time with people without his binder again. At noon, a nurse brought Dave a lunch menu, and Rose ushered everyone out, giving Dave a pointed look and telling him to call if he needed anything. They would be back later, with John and Jade. 

Dave asked about his clothing, hoping he could get his binder back, and was informed that while the rest of his clothes were being washed, they had had to cut his binder off his body, and he couldn’t wear it anyway, with two broken ribs. This was devastating. He couldn’t believe it.

As soon as the nurse left, he burst into tears. Normally, he tried not to cry, especially in public places, but right now he felt he deserved a break. He wished he could cut, but in the hospital he didn’t think that would go over well. He threw his head back on the soft pillow, ignoring the intense pain, and let tears flow down his face. Why was all this happening to him? He felt broken, physically and emotionally, and right now he just wanted someone to hold his hand and tell him he was going to be safe.

 

Around 2, two hours before everyone was supposed to come back, the door to Dave’s hospital room swung open, and Karkat stepped inside. Dave had dozed off, and the footsteps clicking on the linoleum floor woke him up. He opened his eyes drowsily, registered the visitor, and mumbled, “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t be fucking rude, Dave. I came back to keep you company. Don’t get any ideas - it’s not for you. I’m just sick of spending time with that group of fucking losers.” Karkat was blushing, Dave could see, and his hands were shoved awkwardly in his pants pockets. He smiled.

“Suuure.” The nurse had given him painkillers a little while earlier, and he was a little out of it. “You wanted to spend time with me instead.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Karkat sounded annoyed, but he dragged a chair over and sat at Dave’s side. 

Dave let his head flop to the side so he could look at Karkat’s face. He didn’t say anything, just watched him. His mind felt fuzzy and warm. 

Karkat looked a little uncomfortable, but Dave couldn’t think of why. He still hadn’t looked away. Karkat had tiny freckles spattering his cheeks and nose, and dark messy hair that fell over his forehead. Dave had never looked so closely at him, and now he told himself that he was too tired to move his head away, but the truth was, Karkat was kind of cute. He vaguely recalled Rose suggesting somehow that the angry boy had a crush on him. He laughed out loud.

“Dave, what the actual fuck? You’re kind of freaking me out.”

“Karkat, have you ever talked to someone named John?”

“Dude. What?”

“They’re like, my best friend. They’re cute like you. They’re coming later, you guys can meet!” He laughed again. This was a great idea. John was good at making friends.

Karkat was blushing again for some reason. “Dave, I’ve met John! What are you talking about?”

“Whoa, really? What a coincidence! How’d you two meet?” Wow, small world. 

“Oh my God, you’re so fucking high. Just stop talking, idiot.” Karkat crossed his arms, and glared at the floor. 

Dave fell back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking bad at writing romance crap I'm so sorry


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry  
> I'm a disgrace  
> This isn't even good it's just ridiculous

When John arrived, pulling Jade in behind them, the painkillers were starting to wear off. Dave’s head was a lot clearer, and in a lot more pain. Everyone did their best to be quiet, and calm, but the two newcomers were freaking out about Dave’s injuries. Jade looked like she was about to cry, and Dave reached out a hand, which she gratefully took.

A nurse had returned his clothing, and Karkat had left to let him get dressed. He didn’t have his binder, or his sunglasses, but at least his arms were covered. He just kept the blanket up around his collarbone, claiming he was cold. John gave him a sympathetic look. Of course, they would understand. He offered a wry smile in return. John offered to buy him a new pair of glasses, commenting that he looked weird without them.

Karkat was leaning against the back wall, chatting with Terezi and Aradia. He had been here for a while, Dave thought, but he couldn’t quite remember when he had shown up, or what they had talked about. He had been asleep for most of it. That was kind of jerky of him, but he was on medication. He tried not to feel too bad. 

They all stayed for a while, but visiting hours were over at 6, and Dave was supposed to be discharged anyway. The problem being, he needed someone to sign him out. His brother had never showed up, and he doubted he was planning on making an appearance now. That probably wouldn’t be a good thing, anyway. Rose tried to call their mother, but she wasn’t picking up, and Rose was growing increasingly agitated, so Kanaya took their phone away and offered to call her own mother. 

Everyone waited outside the hospital for her, as they were all planning on staying at Rose’s house for the night, and when she arrived in her van about 40 minutes later to get Dave, they were all shivering, huddled together for warmth. As soon as Dave got in the car, Jade and John started fighting over his free hand, which had been in the warm building up until less than a minute before. He couldn’t help laughing, though he was severely uncomfortable without his binder, or even so much as a bra. His ripped jacket helped a little, but not much. 

As they struggled to claim his warmth, he looked up and caught Karkat staring. His heart stuttered, and he frowned. What the fuck was that? They both looked away, and Dave saw Rose smirking at Kanaya. Terezi and Aradia also looked very smug. What the hell was going on?

John was the victor, squeezing Dave’s hand tight and refusing to let Jade pry them off. They stuck their tongue out at her, and she rolled her eyes. They started arguing over some movie they had both watched the day before. Terezi joined in, and Kanaya’s mother offered her opinion as well, which Dave found hilarious. His friends liked the same movies as Kanaya’s mom. What nerds.

The car slowly grew warmer, and everyone quieted down, getting drowsy. John’s grip had softened, and Dave was leaning on their shoulder, half asleep. When they finally pulled into Rose’s driveway, all eight of them had to be woken up. Once they got inside though, each one thanking Kanaya’s mother on the way out of the van, they were wide awake. 

They stood in the living room while Rose went to see if their mother was home. Dave was still leaning heavily on John, his body sore and exhausted. Karkat seemed to be avoiding looking at them, and Terezi was elbowing him in the ribs, to which he was not responding well. Dave absently wondered if they were going to get together now that Gamzee was out of the picture. That would make more sense than whatever ridiculous theory Rose had about him and Karkat. He decided that must be the case; look how friendly they were being. 

Rose came back a few minutes later, their arms full of blankets and pillows. “My mom’s asleep. There are more blankets in that closet there, and pillows in the spare room over there, if you want to get them.”

Everyone went to work, setting up a huge eight person nest between the couch and the TV. Aradia plopped down in the middle, pulling Terezi down next to her and grinning up at the others. “Let’s play a game.”

Dave’s immediate response was an internal groan. John’s was similar, but audible. “We’re not twelve, Aradia,” he practically whined. Everyone knew what she meant by “a game”.

Terezi was smiling evilly at Karkat and he was backing away. “Oh fuck no. Count me out!”

“Oh come on, Kk! We’re having a sleepover! It’s practically required.” Terezi and Aradia fistbumped as Jade and Rose sat down, also smiling widely. It seemed like they were all in on some kind of joke. Dave had no idea what it could be, but judging by Karkat’s adamant refusal, it had something to do with him. Kanaya was sighing in a motherly way, but she couldn’t hide her small smile. Rose tugged on her pant leg and she crouched down next to them. 

Jade looked up at John and Dave. “Come on guys!”

“Peer pressure,” was John’s response, but they were laughing now, too, and Dave couldn’t lean on them standing, so they both ended up on the floor.

Karkat was across the room, glaring at Terezi specifically, his arms crossed defensively. Terezi started chanting, “Truth or dare! Truth or dare!” and everyone but Kanaya and Dave joined in. Finally, Karkat caved.

“Oh my fucking God! Fine! I give up! Happy?” He crossed the room angrily and threw himself down next to Kanaya. 

The chanters cheered, and Terezi started the game. “Sooooo… Aradia!”

Aradia giggled. Dave rolled his eyes. John was right, this was a game for twelve year olds. Everyone seemed to be having fun, though. Well, everyone except Karkat.

“Aradia, truth or dare?”

Aradia bit her lip, and looked up at the ceiling. “Ummm… Truth!”

“Okaaay. Who was dating who first in your trio?”

“Haha, you could’ve just asked me that. Sollux and I were together first, we just didn’t tell anyone until we started dating Fef.” Aradia was looking down, suddenly shy, but her smile never wavered. 

“Fuckin’ called it! Okay, your turn to ask someone,” Terezi pointed at Aradia, way too enthusiastically. How the hell did she have so much energy?

Now Aradia’s smile turned evil, and she shared a glance with Terezi before looking to Karkat. “Karkaaat, truth or dare?” This was clearly what everyone had been waiting for. They hadn’t wasted any time getting to it. 

He didn’t answer for a while, just glaring at her, eyes narrowed. He must be trying to figure out which answer would do the least damage to his dignity. As far as Dave could tell, this was all a ploy to get him and Terezi together. That was just like her. Sure enough, when Karkat answered “truth”, Aradia immediately asked who in the group he would rather kiss.

John and Dave both rolled their eyes, and Kanaya looked vaguely concerned, but everyone else was on the verge of laughter. Karkat looked like he wanted to kill Terezi, and when he opened his mouth all that came out was a faint hiss. Kanaya finally stepped in.

“Guys, let’s not torment Karkat. Is anyone hungry? You never had dinner, did you Dave?”

Dave shook his head. “No, I didn’t.” He turned to Karkat, smirking. “We all know who you were going to answer anyway.” 

Karkat went deep red, and Terezi, Rose, and Aradia all clapped hands to their mouths, before falling on their sides, laughing hysterically. Kanaya pulled Dave quickly into the kitchen, her eyes wide. “Dave, what?”

“Terezi, right? That’s what that was all about.” Kanaya was looking at him strangely, and he suddenly felt very out of the loop. “Am I wrong?”

“Oh my God,” she muttered, and then, louder, asked what he wanted for dinner. That topic of discussion was done being talked about, apparently. 

 

After dinner, they all watched TV for a while, everyone arguing over channels for probably ten minutes before settling on some cartoon that seemed decent. Dave pretty much passed out against John, and eventually everyone else fell asleep as well. 

Several hours later, though, Dave woke up, his body throbbing with pain, and groaned. He pushed himself up, careful not to wake John, and stood to go find the pain meds that had been sent home with him. He didn’t get very far though, because someone was sitting on the couch, and they had jumped when he moved. It was Karkat.

“Dave?” His voice was hushed, for once, and he sounded kind of shocked.

“That’s me.” Dave picked his way over a couple sleeping bodies and sat next to the smaller boy. “What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t sleep. You?” Karkat seemed uncharacteristically tranquil, and Dave figured it must be sleepiness. 

“Oh, you know. Broken ribs, various cuts and bruises.” Speaking of which, where had he left the medication? Bathroom? Kitchen? “Do you know where I left my pain meds?”

“No, sorry. You should keep track of those.” There was a little bit of bite in that, but his heart didn’t seem to be in it. 

“Are you okay?” Dave was kind of alarmed by the inoffensive attitude. 

“Dave…” Karkat looked away, out the huge glass windows, at the shadowy landscape. “Can we talk?”

“We can talk if you help me find my meds first, dude. I’m in so much pain right now.” 

“Oh! Yeah, of course. You stay there, I’ll look for them.” That was nice. Unexpected, coming from Karkat. 

Dave sat there, letting his head fall back gently on the back of the couch. He could feel every bruise on his body, like the brown spots on an apple. The cuts and scratches were burning, and as usual lately, his head was pulsing with pain. He could barely think. What could Karkat want to talk about? Advice about Terezi? His scars, maybe, God forbid. He couldn’t guess. Most of their conversations had been over text, or online. He was a little nervous to have an actual discussion in person.

Karkat returned a little while later, carrying a pill bottle, which he handed to Dave. “They were in the bathroom. Be more careful!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Karkat sat down, cross legged, and stared out the window again. “Hey, thanks.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“What did you want to talk about?” Dave took a couple pills, and placed the bottle in his jacket pocket. He should’ve done that earlier. 

Karkat was silent for a moment. He finally said, “Dave, my ex best friend just beat you to the point of broken bones. He cut you up all over with a fucking beer bottle. And now you’re here, in ‘so much pain’, and he’s out there somewhere, probably getting high, or drunk, or doing some other stupid, dangerous thing. He should be punished.”

“...Karkat,” Dave started, but he didn’t know what to say. To be honest, he had been so focused on what he was going to do, with his brother and everything, that he had hardly even thought about Gamzee.

Karkat now turned, locking eyes with Dave, who felt vulnerable without his glasses. “You didn’t deserve to be hurt. Terezi didn’t deserve to be hurt. Gamzee is a fucking bastard, and I never want to see his fucking face again, unless it’s behind bars!” Karkat’s voice was rising, and someone stirred below them. 

Dave reached out a hand, placing it on Karkat’s shoulder. “Hey, chill out. I’m fine. You can call Eridan in the morning and ask him about Gamzee, right? Turn him in or something.”

“Dave,” his voice shook slightly. “Dave, you’re not fine. There’s another thing. You know I saw your arm in the hospital.”

Dave sighed, his heart beating faster against his wishes. He really didn’t want to talk about that. “I know. Don’t worry about it.”

“How can I not-”

“Karkat, you’re going to wake everyone up. Just, trust me, I’m fine.” It was a lie. It was such a lie. But what was the point of telling the truth? It wouldn’t accomplish anything. 

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“Why didn’t your brother come see you in the hospital?”

The pain meds were starting to kick in, and Dave’s headache was going away, but now it was replaced with panic. “What makes you think he didn’t?”

“Dave, I was there pretty much all day. Kanaya’s mother had to pick you up, and she’s never even met you before. What the fuck man?” Dave’s arm had dropped from Karkat’s shoulder, and he pressed away, closer to the other end of the couch. 

How could he explain? He couldn’t, not now, not in person. Meenah was the only one who knew about the physical stuff, and he was planning on keeping it that way. “Karkat?”

“Yeah?”

“Mind your own business.”


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long compared to the rest  
> It's not even that exciting

Dave had less than zero desire to return home. It was the last thing he wanted to do right now. Unfortunately, the longer he stayed away, the longer he was without any kind of breast concealment, and the angrier his brother would grow. Rose dropped him off the next day, after everyone left for school, but they refused to let him go in alone. They remembered how angry he had been last time, and wanted to make sure Dave was okay. 

To Dave’s absolute relief, his brother wasn’t home when they got there. Rose reluctantly left, telling Dave to call if he needed somewhere to stay, as usual, and Dave sank onto his bed, thinking about the night before. Or, early that morning, to be more accurate. There was no way he was going to school like this.

Karkat hadn’t spoken to Dave at all after he had told him to mind his own business, not even to say goodbye. Dave wondered if he was angry, or hurt, or both. Either way, he felt like crap about it, but it had worked. Karkat had stopped asking. Dave had gone back to bed, and he assumed Karkat had as well, although it was just as likely that he had sat up all night watching trees sway in the wind.

He also wondered if Karkat would actually call Eridan and try to get justice for what Gamzee had done. He was still a minor, so jail wasn’t really an option, but they’d have to do something to a guy who beat a kid unconscious. 

Maybe his brother would get thrown in jail. If he answered Meenah’s calls, let her tell someone. She still called sometimes, but he let it go to voicemail every time. He did answer her texts once in awhile, just so she wouldn’t worry too much. He was worried Karkat would tell her about their talk, and she would tell him the truth. That would be a mess. 

The next morning, after very little sleep, Dave woke to the sound of his phone ringing. Too disoriented to remember to ignore it, he picked up, mumbling a sleepy, “Hello?”

It was Meenah, of course. “Dave, wow, you actually picked up this time. That’s new.”

He flopped back down, realizing his mistake, and groaned.

“Don’t sound so excited. I know you don’t want to talk to me, but guess what? I’m coming to your place today and it’s gonna happen.”

Dave kept his voice hushed, not wanting now to be his first interaction with his brother since returning home. “My brother’s here, we can’t talk, Meenah.”

“So we’ll go for a walk or something.”

“My entire body is in pain. I get that you’re trying to help, but really, I’m fine.” Why couldn’t she just let it go?

“Dave, I’m coming over.” She hung up this time.

 

She arrived that afternoon, probably having gotten his address from Karkat. Traitor. Dave was in his room, praying to the universe that his brother was out, but too scared to go check. She knocked on his closed door, nearly giving a heart attack, and waited for him to invite her in.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me,” came her muffled voice.

“Come in.” He noticed himself frowning and tried to smooth his features. 

Meenah sidestepped through the door, giving him a bright grin. “Your brother’s not home.”

Oh, thank fuck. “Great. You can sit, if you want.” Dave was sitting on the bed, which left the chair at his desk. They weren’t close enough to share a bed. 

She fell onto the chair, letting it swivel a little, from side to side. “So, Strider. We’re alone. Let’s talk.”

He resisted rolling his eyes, but let himself cross his arms. “About what?”

“You’re not safe here. Don’t argue - you know it’s true. You didn’t want me to come over because you thought he was here. You’re scared of him, Dave. That’s not okay! And I refuse to let it happen anymore. I haven’t told anyone, but I’m done with that. You deserve better.” Meenah’s arms were crossed too, now, and her expression was hard to argue with. 

Nevertheless, Dave had to. “Meenah, I appreciate it, but you barely know me. I’m not your problem, and -”

“Dave!” He was startled to see her eyes tearing up behind her glasses. She shook her head and blinked them away. “Why are you doing this? You have people who can help you. Let them.” 

Dave took a deep breath, wincing at the pain in his ribs, and tried to ignore the twisting feeling in his stomach. What was wrong with him?

Meenah continued. “Listen, Terezi and Vriska have been talking some, and they want to try and hang out again. We’re planning on next week. I don’t want to do this, but you have until then to come up with some solution and let me know, or else I’m telling Rose what’s going on.”

Fuck. No. Fuck. “Meenah -” He felt panic rising in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. She gave him a sad smile, and stood up. 

“I’m sorry. I’m going to go, unless you want me to stay. That’s all I wanted to say. I thought it might be easier in person.”

He said nothing, and she walked away.

 

Dave talked to Terezi, and she said they were scheduled to meet the next Friday. That gave him a week and a half to come up with some way to get Meenah off his case. He had no ideas. Nothing, at least, that didn’t involve a friend taking him in. His brother was the only family he knew, and he wasn’t old enough to move out on his own. Nor did he have any source of income. 

His only options were to beg a friend for help, or to stay where he was. Meenah had made her position clear, and he was starting to think it was the only way - he couldn’t bear the thought of staying here for another two years. Still, though, he refused to put that burden on someone. It wasn’t fair. 

 

At some point, in the midst of all his dark thoughts, Dave had fallen asleep. He woke, slumped against his desk, to several messages from Karkat. The sight of his username sent a flutter through Dave’s drowsy heart, and he frowned, placing a hand on his unbound chest. What the fuck was that? It had only been what, two days since he had heard from Karkat? That response was uncalled for. 

The messages were a sort of apology for prying, but they were about as meaningful as Meenah’s earlier apology, because they were followed by a defensive, “I DON’T THINK I WAS IN THE WRONG THOUGH. SOMETHING IS GOING ON, AND YOU NEED HELP.”

Dave wasn’t really in the mood to have another conversation like that, so he rolled his chair away from the desk, stretching his sore body. His ribs sent a sharp pain through his torso, but his other injuries seemed to be healing well. 

The apartment was quiet, but Dave was still nervous when he stepped out of his room and walked barefoot to the kitchen. He made it there, and back, without confrontation.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What!? An update???

Since their last meeting hadn’t gone so well, even before the Gamzee incident, Dave and Karkat were trying to give Terezi some moral support. They didn’t mention the messages Dave had never responded to, just focused on Terezi. She insisted she would be okay this time, and that they had been talking more and getting more comfortable, but it was obvious that she was nervous about it.

 

GC: DO YOU TH1NK 1T’S L4M3 TO GO TO TH3 S4M3 PL4C3 W3 W3NT L4ST TIM3?  
SHOULD W3 DO SOM3THING 3LS3 INST34D?  
TG: dude, chill  
TG: everyone loves pizza  
TG: besides, its kinda like a double date, isnt it?  
TG: except im the fifth wheel  
GC: OH MY GOD D4V3  
GC: KK DO YOU S33 THIS  
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD.  
TG: what?  
TG: arent you two a thing?  
GC: 4H4H4H4H4 >:D  
CG: OH FUCK NO.  
TG: then what was up with truth or dare the other night?

 

Terezi continued to laugh, and say vague things that Dave couldn’t figure out, but which seemed to make Karkat exceedingly angry. Eventually, he just logged out. Terezi, highly amused at whatever had just happened, left as well, claiming she had homework to do. Dave fooled around online for a while, but he was kind of bored. Bored, and distracted. 

If Karkat and Terezi weren’t a thing, who was everyone torturing Karkat about? He couldn’t think of anyone else, and he refused to listen to the tiny voice in the back of his head reminding him about what Rose had said, and how Karkat was trying to help him. Meenah was trying to help too, and there was no way she liked him. Rose just liked to tease Dave. 

He tried to focus on schoolwork, or music, but he couldn’t get the image of Karkat out of his mind. Karkat staring out Rose’s window. Karkat blushing in the hospital. Karkat finding his pills for him. And the worst, purely from his own imagination - Karkat holding his hand. 

 

Really, he reasoned, even if Karkat did like him, which he was in no way considering a possibility, he didn’t like Karkat, so it didn’t even matter. He just needed to stop thinking about it. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about it?

Dave decided he would start a project, to distract himself. He was just exhausted and confused, from everything going on with his brother, and Gamzee, and Meenah. His mind must be fixating on Karkat because it didn’t want to think about the other things. He would give it something else. A webcomic, maybe. 

He drew shitty panels for hours that night, unable to motivate himself to create actual quality work. He was amusing himself, though, and it helped get things off his mind a little. 

Unfortunately, Karkat messaged him the next morning, asking to meet up after school. Dave was reluctant to answer, glaring at the computer screen even as excitement lit in his brain. He ignored the messages, thinking he could pretend he hadn’t seen them until after school, but Karkat knew he usually checked his computer every morning. He could say he had been running late, but that would seem suspicious. Dave almost always woke up on time. 

Frowning at the keyboard, he hovered his fingers over the keys, debating over whether or not he wanted to hang out with Karkat. Well, that wasn’t quite true. He was insisting to himself that he didn’t want to, but it wasn’t working very well. Finally, he gave in and typed out a response. 

Karkat replied immediately, and they agreed to meet at the arcade near the pizza place that afternoon.

 

He spent the entire school day - his first day back - trying to force thoughts of Karkat out of his head. The only things that did the trick, though, were worrying about the fact that he only had a week to figure out things with Meenah, or worrying about the fact that he wasn’t wearing a binder, and those were just as bad. He got called on twice during english, and he couldn’t answer either time. His teacher’s disappointed face hurt a little, but he was too absorbed in other worries to dwell on it. Hopefully she would think he was distracted because of his injuries.

When school finally ended, his heart started doing some ridiculous nervous thing, and he was tempted to bang his head against the bus window. He was not nervous about seeing Karkat. They were friends. This sudden obsession his brain had was absolutely uncalled for, and it made no sense. Nerves, he guessed. Obviously. 

Even when Karkat wandered into the arcade an hour later, and Dave’s first thought was Fuck, he’s cute, he refused to accept the idea that there was something more going on. The outfit was cute, not Karkat. The kid was wearing a huge sweater, and everyone found big sweaters cute. It meant nothing. He told himself his cheeks were red from the cold.

Strangely, though, he found it hard to make eye contact with the smaller boy, who kept waving in his face to make sure he was listening. Karkat wanted to talk about something, but Dave kept glancing down at his chest, worried that Karkat would notice, and missing what was being said. 

“Dave, holy fuck. What is up with you? You’re not listening to anything I’m saying.”

Dave’s attention snapped to Karkat. “Sorry, man. What were you saying?”

Karkat just squinted at him. “Just school shit. Listen, you know there’s something I actually want to talk about. Like, seriously. Are you gonna pay attention?”

“Yeah, I will.” Karkat looked skeptical, and Dave shoved him gently. “I will. Let’s sit down.”

The two slid into a small booth in the corner of the arcade, where they served snacks. Dave offered to buy something, but Karkat just shook his head. He looked solemn, now that Dave was actually looking at his face, and it was worrying. Dave waited for him to start, subtly crossing his arms on the table, effectively hiding his chest. 

It took a while, which Dave spent telling himself there was no way Karkat was about to ask him out, and no way he wanted him to, and fuck Rose for ever putting this thought into his head. Eventually Karkat began. “Dave, I’m really sorry, but I needed to talk to you in person so you wouldn’t hang up on me or ignore my messages.”

Dave groaned, and let his head fall into his arms, ignoring the pain. “Not this again,” he mumbled.

“I’m really fucking worried about you! Is that a problem?”

“Yes!” He lifted his head now, but kept his voice lowered. The arcade was mostly empty, but it felt strange to be having this conversation in public. He almost would’ve preferred a confession. “You and Meenah - “

“Meenah?” Fuck. Karkat furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” Dave rubbed his eye under his sunglasses. “Nothing!”

“I didn’t know you and Meenah were friends.” Karkat leaned back, crossing his arms. It was almost accusatory. 

“I wouldn’t call it friendship,” Dave muttered. That was a little harsh, but he wouldn’t say it was unfair. Friendship took reciprocation. 

The squinting was back, but Dave refused to give in. “Karkat, please. Just leave it alone.”

“Leave what alone, Dave?” 

“Me! Leave me alone!” He couldn’t take it anymore. They were just stressing him out even more. He stood up, and Karkat followed suit. “I told you before; mind your own business.”

“No! I don’t understand you at all! So many people are hurting you.” His voice dropped to a whisper at this. “Why are you just letting it happen? Adding to it yourself, even. Why? Why are you so against getting help?”

Dave could see Karkat’s eyes starting to water. He felt his own eyes prickles and fill up, and tried to blink it away. Fine. He gave up. What the hell. It was too much work pretending his situation was a secret. “Can we not do this here?”

“Yeah. Fine.” Karkat let Dave lead the way out onto the street. He didn’t know where he was going, just kept walking. His ribs hurt with each footfall, but it was a good distraction from what was going on. 

“How exactly do you think you’re going to help me?” he asked, after a few minutes of walking in silence. He was tempted to take Karkat’s swinging hand in his own, but he had a cast, and this really wasn’t the time. Also, he didn’t like Karkat.

“Why don’t you tell me what exactly is going on?” was the response. They didn’t look at each other.

The sky was a pale gray, streaked with purpley clouds that promised rain. Dave could see small birds flitting around far away, circling each other in the sky. He sighed. “You’re not going to stop asking until I do, are you?”

“Hell no.”

“You do realize how annoying that is, don’t you?”

“Definitely.”

Dave growled softly. “I think you already know what I’m going to say.”

“I want to hear you say it anyway.”

“Okay. Fine! My brother hurts me. Gamzee hurt me. I hurt myself. Happy?” Dave was trying desperately to hold back his tears, but they slipped out from his eyelids, hot against his skin, and trickled down his cheeks. 

Karkat looked at him then, of course, and saw the tears, of course. Fucking Karkat. Dave looked away, but that didn’t last very long, because Karkat moved to his other side, and grabbed his hand. Their fingers laced together, and it felt natural. Karkat’s hand was cold, and dry, and smooth. Dave almost stopped walking, but he didn’t want to make things awkward. Or, more awkward.

What did this mean? It was probably just friendly. He was crying. Karkat was being nice. Dave’s heart was skipping beats. Karkat was pulling him down the sidewalk toward a small cafe. Karkat was pulling him into the sudden warmth of the small cafe. Rooting around in his jacket pocket, Karkat found a ten dollar bill, and bought two mugs of hot chocolate. Both boys sat at a tiny circular table.

Dave didn’t say anything. Karkat tried, he really did, Dave could tell. He just couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut. “Dave, I’m really sorry.”

“You already knew.”

“I didn’t want to upset you.” This struck Dave as funny; how could that conversation possibly not upset him?

“Well,” he said, and that was all he said. 

They finished their hot chocolate in silence, Dave staring at the smooth ceramic interior of his mug, and Karkat once again staring out the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I'm the worst at building up romance.  
> I'm aromantic that's my excuse.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this is trash.

“So, uh…” 

“Oh my God, Karkat.” Dave rolled his eyes and pretended to be annoyed in an attempt at masking the rushing feeling in his own chest. Butterflies and adrenaline flip-flopping inside his rib cage; this was all because of Karkat. Why had he held Dave’s hand? Why had Dave liked it? Why had Karkat called him to talk about it?

“I’m sorry! I just, I want-” Karkat cut off, and Dave frowned as his heart skipped a beat. What did Karkat want? It was getting increasingly harder to believe that there wasn’t something more than friendship going on. 

It was getting increasingly harder to convince himself that he didn’t want that. “You’re the one who held my hand, Kk.” Fuck. That didn’t sound condescending. That sounded… affectionate. Dave closed his eyes and lay his forehead against the cool wall. Why was this so difficult? They should’ve had this conversation over text.

“Because you were crying! I was trying to make you feel better! I’m sorry you’ve got some weird no homo thing going on. I’ll try not to make you uncomfortable in the future!” Maybe it hadn’t sounded affectionate? It sounded like Karkat was trying to come across as angry, but really, he was just giving off a nervous, defensive vibe. Also, he was making zero sense.

“What are you even talking about?” His brother wasn’t home, but Dave instinctively lowered his voice. “Karkat, I’m gay.” 

Silence from the other end. 

“Is that… a problem?” There was no way Karkat was homophobic. Not with all his queer friends. Besides, as far as Dave could tell - though he tried to deny it - Karkat seemed to be into boys himself. One boy, in particular. He hoped, anyway.

Dave pushed off from the wall. What had he just thought? He hoped Karkat was into him? We’re in denial, he reminded his brain. Even saying that was really just saying that he did, indeed, hope Karkat was into him. Which was ridiculous. Dave didn’t like Karkat. He didn’t. He really, truly… did, maybe, a tiny bit. Karkat’s next sentence cemented this sudden acceptance.

It was flustered, and Dave could practically hear the blush on the other boy’s face. “No! Definitely not! No problem here! Same, actually. I mean, I’m not gay, but I do like-” He stopped, again, and again Dave’s heart copied the action. Karkat finished with, “guys. I like guys and girls. And others. You know, I’ve got some stuff to do, I’m gonna go.” There was a note of panic in his voice, and Dave tried to respond, but it was too late.

Karkat had hung up.

Fuck. What had just happened? In the space of one short phone call, Dave had finally admitted two things to himself. One - he most definitely did like Karkat. Two - Karkat most definitely did like him.

 

Dave didn’t bring it up when he messaged Karkat later. He had no idea what to say, aside from casually blurting out that he liked the kid, and that was too horrifying to even entertain as an idea. Instead, he asked Karkat for help.

Terezi’s playdate with Vriska was now six days away, fast approaching, and Dave was in no way prepared. He couldn’t think of anything that would keep Meenah from bringing the problem to Rose, and to be honest, he was starting to think maybe that was the best option. It made him feel like shit to consider asking them for even more help, but he couldn’t see another way. His brother hadn’t touched him in the past few days, but only because he’d been out of the apartment so much. Dave had no doubt that things would be much more violent if they were actually interacting.

He was scared. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was terrified of walking through the streets alone and running into Gamzee. He’d had a couple nightmares about it already. Even more than that, though, he couldn’t stop imagining his bedroom door bursting open, his brother enraged over some hypothetical slight, and his own body being beaten. He’d considered trying to fight back, but he wasn’t strong, or coordinated, and one of his arms was encased in heavy plaster. That could be a useful weapon, but he was afraid it would hurt him more than it would his brother.

All this paranoia led to a lot of anxiety, and Dave was super stressed. In a way, now that he had recognized and accepted his crush, it was easier to focus on that. Still, though, there was only so much distraction that Karkat could provide. Dave would’ve liked to resort to a different form of distracting himself, but self harm was considerably harder with a cast. It didn’t stop him from trying, but it wasn’t nearly as effective. 

Karkat knowing about that particular part of Dave’s life also put a damper on it. He couldn’t stop feeling like he was letting him down, or like it would be hurting him if he found out. It was frustrating, but inescapable. Rose, too, most likely had their guesses. They hadn’t brought it up, probably out of respect for his privacy, but they had to be worried. He was the worst. 

Everything was just too much right now. It would be so nice to just go live with Rose. Their mother was irresponsible, definitely, and certainly not about to win any parenting awards, but at least she wasn’t violent. There was so much violence in Dave’s life at the moment. All he wanted was to feel like he was going to be okay.

Dave didn’t explain any of this to Karkat, except that he felt bad taking advantage of Rose’s concern for his well being. Karkat said something about fucking bullshit, and backed up the idea that asking them for help was the best course of action.

Over the next several days, Dave had a lot of doubts, but overall his mind was made up. He would tell Meenah that they were going to talk to Rose.

 

Karkat had managed to pry the fact that Dave was scared to walk alone out of him, and learning that, had promised to meet Dave at his apartment building and walk with him to the pizza place. Although it didn’t necessarily help that it was Karkat in particular, since Gamzee was mad about them being friends, it was nice not to be alone. On the walk over, making a conscious effort not to grab Karkat’s hand, Dave decided to ask about Gamzee. It had been a while since they had talked about it, and he was still worried that Karkat would try to get the asshole in trouble. 

“Well, I’ve been talking to Eridan some. When I can stand to converse with him, that is.”

Dave frowned. “And that’s helping?”

“He’s with Gamzee a lot. I have no idea why. He doesn’t seem to be into drugs or anything. I think he likes the creep, for some reason. Fucked up, I know. But he won’t tell me where Gamzee is, just that he’s trying to keep him under control.” Karkat was glaring at the sidewalk, and Dave had to bite the side of his cheek to stop himself from commenting.

It made sense that Karkat was angry. It even made sense for him to be worried, and Dave had a small suspicion that that was the case. What didn’t make sense to Dave was obsessing over the guy. It was easier to just let it go. As long as they avoided him, who cared? 

Karkat, apparently. He was just as determined to find Gamzee and punish him as he had been after Dave had been attacked. Dave wanted to say something about it, but he didn’t know what to say, so he continued to bite his cheek and walk in silence.

The girls were already seated when Dave and Karkat arrived. Terezi seemed mildly uncomfortable, but she was talking, at least. As they slid into the booth, Meenah met Dave’s eyes, and he forced himself not to look away. He was resolved now to let her help him. Karkat had been drilling one phrase into his head the whole week: You deserve to be safe. 

She smiled, and returned to the conversation. Terezi had merely waved quickly in their general direction, and Vriska had basically ignored their entrance, so they sat in silence until they could figure out what everyone was talking about. 

At one point, Meenah turned to Vriska, and asked, “If you were a pirate, would you put your parrot on this shoulder-” at that, she tapped the shoulder nearest to her - “or on this shoulder?” She slid her arm smoothly around Vriska and grinned up at her smirking girlfriend. Terezi laughed much more than the situation warranted, but Dave couldn’t help a smile himself. They were a cute couple.

All through dinner, Dave was hyper aware of Karkat’s proximity. He was between Karkat and Terezi, in fact, and it was a sort of sandwich effect, but with one slice of bread electrified. Since his admittance of his feelings, it was hard to know how to act around his friend. Should he be careful not to touch him? Would Karkat find it weird if Dave casually leaned on him? Terezi didn’t seem to mind, but Terezi wasn’t a romantic interest. 

Terezi was also somewhat preoccupied; she was drawing a colored pencil portrait of Vriska and Meenah. As the other four leaned in to watch more closely, Dave’s question was answered. Karkat pressed against him, situating himself so that their faces were right next to each other. Dave could barely breathe. He knew Meenah was smirking at him, but he refused to look at her. Fuck that noise.

A surprisingly good artist for someone who couldn’t see what she was drawing, Terezi finished the portrait quickly, handed it to Vriska, and then started on another. Dave couldn’t tell who it was supposed to be at first, but it quickly became evident. Karkat quickly stood up, and said he was going to the bathroom. Vriska and Meenah burst into laughter. Terezi grinned evilly. Dave just glared at the three. 

On the paper, a small red humanoid with a cast and sunglasses was snuggled up with a gray humanoid that had hair suspiciously similar to Karkat’s.

“How do you even know what Karkat’s hair looks like?” 

Terezi laughed, and reached over, tousling Dave’s hair. He strengthened his glare, but it didn’t do much good against a blind girl. “Same way I know what yours looks like. You should go find him.” She stuck out her tongue.

Dave was about to protest, but Meenah chimed in, “That sounds like a great idea!”

Vriska nodded in mock solemnity. “Very wise words from Terezi.”

He resisted. He really tried. Terezi ended up pushing him out of the booth, and Meenah shoved him in the direction Karkat had gone. He stumbled forward, and, sighing, gave in. Flipping them off over his shoulder, which Vriska helpfully narrated for Terezi, he went to find the other boy.

Karkat was leaning against the wall outside the doors to the bathrooms. His head was tipped back, eyes closed, face red, and Dave felt his pulse quicken.

“You know, you probably look really creepy just standing there.” Karkat let his head roll to the side, slowly opening his eyes as Dave spoke.

“Shut the fuck up, asshole.” 

“So hostile.” Dave tried to keep his tone teasing as he moved closer, feigning a confidence he didn’t feel at all. Finally, he was right in front of Karkat. They stared at each other for a moment.

“Terezi is almost as bad as Kanaya with the whole meddling thing.”

“Almost as bad? She seems worse.”

“Kanaya was the one who told her in the first place.” A blush was rising in Karkat’s cheeks.

“Ah.” It was strange to think of Karkat talking to Kanaya about him. Strange, and somehow pleasing. 

“Dave, I don’t want to make you-” Karkat began, but Dave cut him off, leaning forward, placing a hand on his neck, and pressing their lips together.

It was Dave’s first kiss, and at first he wasn’t sure where to go with it. They both froze, and he wanted to kick himself. He started to pull away, but Karkat’s hands tugged at the front of his shirt, keeping him in place, and Karkat reached up to kiss him again. He didn’t seem too experienced either, basically just smushing their mouths together, but it was warm, and soft, and Dave’s heart was beating fast in a way that wasn’t caused by fear. 

He let his other hand, unromantic cast and all, come up to Karkat’s hip, pulling back and readjusting, and then going in for another kiss. Karkat’s hands ran up Dave’s sides, sending shivers through his body. He was having a little trouble figuring out how to breathe, but it was so worth it. 

Finally, they separated, breathing heavily, staring at each other.

“...Okay. That happened,” Dave ventured.

“It sure fucking did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That happened.
> 
> In other news, I'm nearing the end of this story, and I do have some ideas for other fics (one I've already started - it's Roxy/Callie) but I would love to get suggestions from you all if you have any. I want to write more!


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I'm so sorry this took so long!  
> And that it's so short!  
> And awful!

Dave wanted to kiss Karkat again. The kid was bright red, refusing to meet his eyes, glaring at the wall - but it wasn’t hostile. He was adorable. Dave reached out, but Karkat dodged his hand and frowned.

“We should go back. They’re gonna get suspicious.” 

“They’re probably suspicious already.”

“Dave -” Karkat stopped, shaking his head. Now Dave was a little concerned.

“Are you okay?” Was that okay? Karkat had kissed him back, but did that mean anything? Maybe he was just caught up in the moment.

“I just - what now?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you want from me, Dave?”

Dave was frowning too. “What do you want from me?”

They both crossed their arms, which was considerably easier for Karkat. Finally, Karkat broke the silence. “We - do you - will you be my boyfriend?”

Dave’s heart skipped a beat, and he let out a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding. “Yes.”

 

Their return was met with much teasing, and some exuberant applause from Terezi. Smirks all around. All in all, this meeting was going much better than the last. 

It was getting late, though, and Dave was reminded of the other pressing matter he had to focus on. Meenah gave him a pointed look, and he was thankful for dark glasses covering his expression. His mind was made up, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous. So, so nervous. 

They stepped outside together, to the confusion of Vriska and Terezi. They didn’t question it though, perfectly content to stay and torment Karkat. Dave didn’t say anything, waiting for Meenah to initiate the conversation.

She looked sad, and maybe a little guilty, as she asked, “So? Have you made a decision?”

“Yeah.”

“And that is…?”

“I think we should ask Rose for help.”

A smile lit up Meenah’s face. She tugged on one of her braids. “Dave, that’s great! I’m glad. I would’ve hated to do that without you.”

He offered a very obviously fake smile, and she let hers fade a little.

“I’m sorry I’m basically forcing you into this. Really. But it needs to be done.”

“It’s okay. You’re just trying to help. I get it. Hey, Meenah?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

 

Rose was shocked when they were told, which surprised Dave. They hadn’t realized things were physical, apparently. They welcomed Dave into their home with open arms, literally, giving him a huge hug and dragging him inside. 

It took a while to get everything sorted out, and it was stressful, to say the least. Child services, testifying against his brother, somehow managing to convince everyone that Rose’s mother was suited to adopt him. Or have a child in the first place. In the end though, it all worked out.

Dave moved into one of the many spare rooms, and was enrolled in Rose’s school. He had a few classes with his new boyfriend, as well as Kanaya and Terezi, and several of the others. Gamzee was a large concern for a long time, but eventually Karkat told the group that he had been talking with Eridan, and that Gamzee was in the hospital after overdosing on some drug.

He died the next morning. Terezi and Karkat didn’t say anything about how they felt, even when Dave asked if they were okay, but it was obvious that they weren’t. He wanted to say that Gamzee did it to himself; that he deserved it; that he wasn’t a great person to have around anyway. Dave said none of these things. 

It took a long time for the two to act okay again, but they had a large group of friends beside them, and that made it far easier to get past. In the end, everyone turned out pretty okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!


End file.
